Feeling guilty about sending my baby to daycare while I work from home

To start, I just want to say I’m not looking to argue about daycare or quitting my job, this is just a place to share how I feel. If anyone else has gone through this, I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts. And hopefully they’re positive because I’m really feeling it right now

My baby is starting daycare soon at 3 months. I work from home and honestly my job is pretty chill. Before my baby came, I used to spend a lot of my day juggling house chores with work. It’s a relaxed job but it doesn’t offer much flexibility. I have to be online at certain times and answer calls on short notice.

I really don’t see how I can work from home and care for my baby at the same time. Still, the stress and sadness I feel as the daycare start date comes closer is overwhelming. I think maybe I could keep my baby home. If I can do laundry, why not? Then I remind myself that if I get a call at work, laundry won’t be crying but my baby very well could be.

It’s really tough to justify sending him to daycare when I am at home and can do chores like dishes. I’m not even sure if this makes sense but is anyone feeling the same way?

I mostly work from home too, and I often find time to do dishes and laundry during the day. I feel so thankful to have this opportunity while my baby is at daycare so I can really focus on spending quality time with him when he’s back home.

@Sam
I can relate! My job is also pretty laid-back. But I know I can’t be fully focused on work when my baby needs my attention. Don’t feel guilty about this, but if you do, I hope this helps ease your worries.

@Cary
This has been something I really needed to hear! I go back to work in three weeks, and my husband starts his paternity leave for 16 weeks before daycare begins in April. It’s a slow transition, but I’m feeling all kinds of emotions about these changes coming up.

@Shay
Sixteen weeks! That’s awesome

@Sam
I can’t express this any better. My 9 month old loves daycare. She gets excited whenever we get her bag ready. It’s a great thing for all of us. Plus, just a heads up, you will get a lot of extra time with your baby the first year at daycare due to illnesses. That’s where your job’s downtime will really help.

@Rey
So true. My 10 month old has been in daycare for six months now, and he has gotten flu, Covid, pink eye with a double ear infection, and this week he’s home with RSV. I don’t mean to scare anyone about daycare; it’s just the reality of it. We try to focus on how it’s building his immune system rather than worrying about all the illnesses. But yes, the point about kids being home a lot because they are sick is very true.

@Sam
As someone working from home who is anxious about daycare starting in January, I really needed to hear this. Thank you!

Lexi said:
@Sam
As someone working from home who is anxious about daycare starting in January, I really needed to hear this. Thank you!

You’re welcome! We had to work from home for two weeks before our daycare spot opened, and it was tough on everyone. The baby enjoys spending time with other babies and different toys at daycare. Mom and dad get to accomplish tasks during the day and spend quality time in the evenings and on weekends. It’s wonderful for all of us.

@Sam
This is exactly how I feel.

@Sam
I agree. Honestly, by 3-4 months, babies start to get bored easily. So while the person is trying to work, the baby could become really whiny. I’m speaking from experience; it was tough.

I’ve been working from home, and I couldn’t manage both my job and childcare at the same time. My baby is 17 months and very active! I decided to get a nanny, so I still get to see him during lunch breaks. It’s working out well.

Right now, it seems good because the baby is cute, cuddly, and sleeps a lot. But when they start crawling, getting into everything, and wanting to be held all the time, daycare feels like a blessing. I loved daycare because it tired my kid out and helped him sleep better. I know it’s tough, but daycare is always better than juggling a full-time job with a baby at home, especially as they grow quickly.

Honestly, working a job while taking care of a growing baby isn’t really possible. Either the job struggles, or the childcare does. There’s a reason it’s called ‘work from home’ and not ‘hang out at home and get paid’. Children have needs that conflict with work tasks—this will only get more challenging as they become active.

I work from home and love sending my little one to daycare. It’s better for both of us!

I work from home three days a week and have a nanny, so my son is nearby but has care. I often feel bad when he sees me and says ‘Mama no work.’ There are times when I need to catch up on work while he’s home, but it’s almost impossible. I usually have to do it while he naps, but I can’t set specific times because I never know when he’ll nap.

Your employer isn’t paying you to care for your child while working. You wouldn’t bring your baby to the office, so you shouldn’t have them in your home office either. You need to focus on your job so you can support your child. I know it’s tough and mom guilt is real, but you are making the right choice.

Honestly, I can imagine working from home with a newborn since they’re pretty calm. But once they’re over three months, that changes! They start fussing and interacting with everything, and once they begin moving, it’s tough to manage unless you have a way to keep them contained. With a baby, you drop everything to comfort them when they cry, but you can’t do that when you need to be ready for calls. You’ve made the right decision.

Our 6 month old starts daycare next week, and I’m out of family leave this week so I’m juggling being mom and worker. Although I have flexibility to work from home, it’s tough. I can’t wait to have him in daycare. We need my income, so quitting isn’t an option. Honestly, I can’t figure out what he needs today, so I’ve hardly gotten any work done. He’s so active and needs so much that I barely have time to eat. Now I’m exhausted and will have to work late tonight. The guilt is normal, but for me, reliving that guilt is easier than trying to manage both roles.

I think this struggle is common for every mom with a job. It’s not easy to leave your baby, no matter their age. You might consider starting the daycare with fewer hours so you can both adjust gradually instead of a major change all at once.