I’ve been working from home for eight years, and my kids are 3.5 years and 2 years old. They are both in full-time daycare now. We kept them home with a nanny until they were almost 2. It was really expensive, but I liked being able to see them throughout the day. My job is demanding too, with scheduled calls to attend. I felt guilty at first, but now I feel relieved when I drop them off in the morning. I can focus on my work and catch up on chores that needed to be done.
I’m in the same situation with a relaxed work-from-home job. Even though it’s not demanding, I have tasks to complete and calls to make. For a while, I thought I could manage watching my little one for an hour or two while I worked, but after being back to work for 2.5 months, I realize that I want to be fully present with him instead of trying to balance work and childcare. It’s tough, and I feel guilty when I can do light chores away from him, but I have to prioritize my job.
It could be worse. I send my kids to daycare while I’m on a two-year leave. Do I feel guilty? Yes. But I’m not really a baby/toddler person. Mental health is important too for happy kids. I look forward to the days when we can play games, read, and go out for fun together without tantrums.
@Case
It’s great to see someone openly sharing this perspective. I share similar feelings, and while I feel a bit guilty, I know it’s the best choice for everyone.
@Case
That’s a really healthy outlook. My child has been at daycare while my partner and I work from home for nearly two months now. It’s better for me than having him home with a nanny. I do enjoy the baby phase, but in small bursts. I also appreciate my career and my pets.
Working from home full-time is just that: working full-time. Caring for a baby is also a full-time job. If you keep your baby at home, you’re trying to do two full-time jobs at once, which isn’t sustainable. Sneaking in laundry during meetings is very different than trying to handle a crying baby in the middle of a work meeting. You can’t let a baby cry while you’re busy working. Caring for a baby is unpredictable; you can’t schedule them around your workday. It’s essential to have childcare, whether at daycare or with a nanny, when working from home.
Many people I know work from home but their employer requires proof of childcare. I think as kids get older, they will need even more attention, and it’ll be tough to manage both.
From my perspective as a stay-at-home parent for nearly two years, I can’t imagine the stress of needing to be available for work tasks while also caring for a child. I can find time for a side task, but once the baby starts moving around, they need a lot of attention! It can be tough to balance work tasks with caring for an active baby. I sometimes struggle to even find time to do the dishes while tending to my child’s needs. Don’t feel guilty for not taking on the challenging job of childcare while managing your paid work.
Maybe look at it this way: getting chores done while you work from home allows you to focus more on your baby when they’re home.
I felt the same guilt, especially as my son got older, and I realized I couldn’t do both tasks well. I can either be a good employee or a good parent, not both at the same time. We have a nanny, and while it’s been hard to get daily tasks done because my son wants to be with me, I’m looking forward to sending him to daycare soon so I can have time to tidy up and cook during the day.
My baby would be so bored and miserable at home while I’m working. She is thriving in daycare with constant attention, friends, and activities. It’s the best thing for her.
I’m in a similar situation but I hired a babysitter for three days a week, four hours a day when I need to do focused work. That way, the babysitter can take care of the baby while I work.
I work from home with my toddler while my husband also works from home. Even with both of us, it’s hard. My job has some flexibility, but there are important calls occasionally where he needs to be calm and quiet. Some days he watches too much screen time or too much TV. I enjoy the time together and appreciate how we’ve managed things, but alone, it would be impossible.
Have you thought about hiring a nanny during the day?
You’ll soon notice how much your child enjoys daycare and how much they learn. Add to that the stress-free time you’ll have; it’s a win for everyone. I felt the same at first, but now I stress when they have to stay home!
This is my son’s fourth week at daycare, and I’m happy I miss him. Our dynamic has improved because I look forward to seeing him again. I’m more patient when I’m not with him all the time. But then again, my job doesn’t allow him to join me for calls, and I only work four days a week.
Before having my baby, I thought I could work while keeping him home. I did a few freelance jobs early on, and they would be long, busy days. Even with my husband working from home, it was much tougher than I expected. I chose to take a break from work until my baby was a year old, but if I had a steady job, that choice would have been much harder.
I feel the same, especially when work is slow. But the reality is that I have to be ready for calls without notice, and I can’t have baby sounds in the background or watch them while on the phone.
Thanks for sharing this. I’m returning to work in January (also remote), and my little guy starts daycare in March. I’ve enjoyed reading these responses—they reassure me that childcare is still necessary, even if I’m working from home! Like you, my job requires me to be on calls, scheduled or not, where watching a baby just wouldn’t work.
I wouldn’t have managed to work while caring for my baby. I work from home and have some downtime during the day, but caring for a baby while working simply doesn’t work. Don’t feel guilty about your decision.