I’m 11 weeks postpartum (FTM) and going back to work in a week. Today, I took my baby to her new daycare to drop off all her things, and I was so emotional. There are 2 teachers and 8 infants, and while I was there, 1-2 babies were crying the entire time. I understand it’s unrealistic for all the babies to be completely calm and happy, but it made me so sad. I just want the best for my girl and for her to get all the love and care she deserves.
One of the ladies mentioned, “Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t eat much or sleep much at the beginning.” I appreciate the warning, but it kind of made me feel worse about the whole situation.
I’m debating quitting my job, but then I think about how hard I worked to get where I am and how much money I make. I’m really struggling with this decision.
Can anyone relate or share positive stories about sending their infant to daycare?
I don’t have any advice, but I’m commenting in solidarity because this is my final week at home with my daughter, and I’m a wreck about sending her to daycare next week. You will get through this.
Me three! It will be really difficult, but I believe it will be well worth the effort. But I intend to request to work from home one day a week. It’s going to be difficult, but it may make my time with him more meaningful. I have enjoyed being at home, but I don’t think I could do it full-time.
I had the EXACT same experience when dropping off items at daycare the week before my baby started. The crying infants, the emotional turmoil—I was a wreck on the first day. When I picked her up, she looked dazed, tired, and out of it, and I almost pulled her out right then and there.
But the next day, I was able to do things for myself that I hadn’t done in MONTHS. I had been feeling a bit of fatigue and resentment from every day being about someone else’s needs and routines (no judgments, please—I love and adore my baby girl, and everything has been about making her life amazing since birth, and I wouldn’t have it any other way). But I realized that I would be a much better, more present mother if I had something for myself as well. (Plus, I live in a place where you really need two incomes unless you’re making millions).
After the first week, I could tell she LOVED daycare. She loved her teachers, and they loved her. She’s gotten used to sleeping in a noisy place, which is amazing. They’re such a help with her learning and development. It’s also promising to see reviews online from families whose kids stayed in that same daycare year after year, with siblings attending too. That’s usually a great sign.
I also read something that really helped me: way back when, people had actual villages to help them raise their children. Now, most of our society doesn’t have that anymore. Think of daycare as your village, and how lucky are our babies that they get this extended village to love and care for them? Plus, I think the socialization is wonderful.
Anyway, just my thought process as I’ve been navigating this whole daycare thing!
Thank you for your kind response!!! I never considered other families sending siblings and remaining with it, but you’re right: that’s a terrific evidence that the daycare is good.
This was my experience as well. I cried all day for the first week or so of daycare, wanting to quit my work and everything, but my son adjusted so wonderfully, and his teachers adore him. He’s still exhausted at the end of his daycare days (it’s been about a month and a half), but that simply means a lovely long contact snooze on the couch after work, which I also need! I’m pleased I stuck it out through the change; having time for myself (and two incomes) is well worth it. All will be OK, OP, right here with you.
So far, our daycare experience has been excellent. My 12-month-old began daycare at four months, and he adored his infant room teachers. They still stop by his new room to give him cuddles whenever they can. He excels in social situations and is learning a lot.
ETA: Every child is different, but my LO had no trouble eating or sleeping. In fact, when it was time to start solids, daycare was a huge assistance. Now that we’ve moved away from formula and bottles, daycare has made the transition simpler and helped us create a regular feeding schedule.
My LO is in a similar scenario. I’m fortunate to have been accepted into the daycare next door to my workplace, so I can nurse my baby rather than pump. That is very helpful to me.
I stayed at home for two months, and my spouse for two. I was a bawling disaster on my way to my first full day of work. I’m glad she’s around me all day with teachers she enjoys.
Same here! Our 18-month-old adores his daycare teachers and peers, and has had no trouble eating or sleeping (apart from regular sleep schedule changes).
I went through something similar and just couldn’t bring myself to send my baby to daycare. Today, I informed my employer that I won’t be returning to work. I realized that I can always find another job (I have a graduate degree, which I know is a privilege and not everyone’s reality), but my little one is only a baby for a short time, and I want to be there for her. Right now, this is the best choice for me and my family.
However, there’s no universal right way to handle this. You have to do what’s best for you and your family. As my mother would say, trust your gut.
Same here! Our 18-month-old adores his daycare teachers and peers, and has had no trouble eating or sleeping (apart from regular sleep schedule changes).
This is quite employer-dependent. Some ask you to come back for as long as you were out (so work three months if you were on leave for three), while others do not.
You should review your company’s policies. It could also depend on your location. I suppose they would make you pay it back unless there’s something that says they can’t.
Sorry, I meant to respond about the STD payments. If you do not return for the same amount of time, they may compel you to repay anything you received through STD while on vacation. This isn’t true for everyone, but it’s worth thinking if you don’t want to go back, especially given your income and total payments. If your employer has an employee handbook, you should be able to find more information there.
My previous employer had a policy stating that if you go on leave and don’t return to work for at least one full day, you have to repay whatever you were paid during your maternity/paternity leave. However, this policy wasn’t always enforced.
I know someone who, on the day he returned, put in his notice and only finished out the week. His boss wasn’t happy, but there was nothing they could do since he was technically in compliance.
Another person I know didn’t return from maternity leave because her childcare arrangements fell through. Her husband told her to quit. I’m not sure if they forgot about the policy, didn’t need the money, or what. Her manager wasn’t very organized, so I don’t know if they enforced the payback on her or not.
