Someone at work told me today I’m raising a spoiled brat

So, I have been co-sleeping with my baby girl, 9 months old. I tried to train her to sleep in her crib at 3 months old after transitioning from the bassinet, but she would wake up every 30-40 minutes, sometimes after 2-3 hours, and won’t sleep longer. She would wake screaming and crying. At 7 months, we were overseas at my parents’ house, and there we started co-sleeping since she didn’t have a crib. Ever since we are co-sleeping, she won’t sleep more than 3-4 hours, but she would nurse a little then fall asleep again. Rarely, she would sleep 5 hours. But at least she doesn’t scream and cry like before. So I decided to co-sleep until she is ready to sleep separately. And at work, this guy told me that I’m raising a spoiled brat by doing this and that I should let her cry it out. I just can’t do it. I remember sleeping with my parents when I was 4-5 years old. Eventually, I slept on my bed in the same room with my sisters and I’m not a spoiled brat at all. Please share your experience if you co-slept with your LO and if he/she isn’t a spoiled brat and eventually sleeps on their own. Thank you.

Most people co-sleep in my country (Finland). I don’t know how you see us but I hope we’re not a nation of spoiled brats :joy:

I think baby sleep is baby dependent. Some babies wake up every hour until 2 years, some babies start to sleep through from the start. I co-sleep and my baby started to sleep through at 7 months without me doing anything, so I think it’s just luck.

@Zora
This is the answer! Babies are just as unique as us adults and we all have different sleep habits - also I co-slept with mine till 7 months then he suddenly decided he wanted his space.

Also since when was a literal baby capable of being “spoiled” - I’d just brush off what that guy said, he clearly knows nothing.

@Zora
I really don’t know if most co-sleep in Finland. My neuvola asked numerous times where our baby slept. Thl recommends a separate bed. We are given the baby boxes that provide that separate bed.

Hadi said:
@Zora
I really don’t know if most co-sleep in Finland. My neuvola asked numerous times where our baby slept. Thl recommends a separate bed. We are given the baby boxes that provide that separate bed.

In Vantaa we were given safe co-sleeping guides and they never asked how we slept. Naistenklinikka also didn’t even give us a bed for our baby during our stay. The box is only for the first 2-3 months when you can’t bedshare.

I was ebf though so it might be different if you formula feed?

@Zora
That’s so weird. I guess because I did my appointments in Espoo, but I still gave birth at a HUS hospital and everyone I saw had a separate bed for the baby. Breastfeeding or not :woman_shrugging:

Hadi said:
@Zora
That’s so weird. I guess because I did my appointments in Espoo, but I still gave birth at a HUS hospital and everyone I saw had a separate bed for the baby. Breastfeeding or not :woman_shrugging:

Our neuvola nurse talked about there being an internal struggle about bfing which involves conflicting bedsharing info, so I wonder if this has to do with the inconsistencies. Bfing is proven to continue longer if a parent bedshares, so this is why the pro-bfing practitioners recommend it.

Were you recommended to use imetyksentuki ry as a resource? Our neuvola has their fliers up and everything.

@Zora
I was recommended to use them, and I did. It was never even mentioned about bed sharing then.

:woman_shrugging: oh well it’s just interesting the differences.

Hadi said:
@Zora
I was recommended to use them, and I did. It was never even mentioned about bed sharing then.

:woman_shrugging: oh well it’s just interesting the differences.

Imetyksentuki ry is very pro bed-sharing!

@Zora
Did they not? At Tampere we had trolley crib box thing for the baby to sleep when I stayed at the hospital at TAYs. It’s pretty impossible to cosleep in a hospital bed.

Hale said:
@Zora
Did they not? At Tampere we had trolley crib box thing for the baby to sleep when I stayed at the hospital at TAYs. It’s pretty impossible to cosleep in a hospital bed.

>. It’s pretty impossible to co-sleep in a hospital bed.

It is! They just told me to stick the baby inside my nightie so she wouldn’t fall and it would be fine?? I was so scared we slept in shifts with my husband :sob:

@Zora
Yikes!! I would have been terrified, especially how exhausted I was after the birth. I thought it was pretty standard to have them all over Finland. The babies actually slept really well in those crib box things they had at the hospital. Less so at home, now I have my six-month-old co-sleeping with me :weary:

@Zora
Precisely. Babies are different, adults are different, dogs are different. Don’t listen to others and do what works for you and your baby as long as it’s done safely.

lol

I know toddlers who are little spoiled brats and I also know toddlers that are pretty nice kids.

Co-sleeping or not co-sleeping is not the factor that you need to worry about :joy:

Kids under 12 months old barely understand anything so you can’t really spoil them.

Tell the guy you work with that you don’t want his advice. He sounds like a jerk… I wonder how his mother raised him.
In any case, co-sleeping will not make your child a brat. It will, however, help her sense of security, and she will feel safe with you. Which is more important than whatever this guy thinks.

@Junita
Yeah tell this guy thank you but I’m not looking for advice at this time.

@Junita
One hundred percent this. It helps development and security as long as you do it safely (not drunk/high etc). You and your child sleeping better and being happy and healthy is all that matters. The guy with the unsolicited advice probably sleeps alone and is just jealous.

Ask for his parents’ numbers so you can call to ask about their parenting techniques to ensure you don’t raise someone like him.

What a jerk.

Rin said:
Ask for his parents’ numbers so you can call to ask about their parenting techniques to ensure you don’t raise someone like him.

What a jerk.

This is the correct answer. Ask him about his entitlement and abandonment issues as well.

Co-sleeping is not a factor in babies becoming spoiled brats. Your coworker doesn’t know what he is talking about and he is a rude AH. What parenting choice does he have to blame for being like this?

I’m sorry but such insulting remarks about babies you don’t even know are not ok, what is wrong with this guy?