FTD here seriously struggling emotionally having my LO in daycare. What would it take for the US to pass a law to extend the required parental leave in the country? The FMLA law currently is up to 12 weeks, that’s 3 months. That means the average family will be taking their 3 month old baby to daycare with random strangers. I don’t get how that’s acceptable. Luckily I had paid paternity leave for 6 weeks and we were able to send our LO to daycare when he was 4 months, which is still way too young to be going to daycare.
On top of not having enough time with your LO, daycare ratios for my state is 6:1… how can there be 6 babies to 1 caretaker? I don’t understand how that’s legal. Even some states that have 4:1 still isn’t enough.
How can we go about changing the FMLA law? Who can we vote for? What needs to be done in order to change this? Will it ever change? How can we change the required ratios for daycares?
Sorry for the mini-rant, I’m just an emotional wreck now that my LO is in daycare and it just doesn’t make sense to me.
You can do this by changing FMLA, but you don’t have to be that ambitious. Individual states are also able to implement more liberal parental leave legislation independent of the federal statute.
So, the answer to your query (“Who can we vote for?”) is progressive Democratic lawmakers across the board. Federal, state, and municipal. Primaries, midterms, and every election are held every year.
Agreed, the federal minimum is mandated, but states can exceed it. On top of that, several employers offer more generous leave plans than is needed by law. Obviously, not everyone can work for these organizations, but IMO, such advantages should be requested and sought after by employees so that employers feel motivated to provide them. My husband changed employment partially to take advantage of more generous parental leave policies.
Yes, Washington State has its own paid family leave program, which provides an additional 12 weeks and pays a portion of your salary in addition to typical FMLA protections, which is fantastic.
Honestly, it’s absurd how far behind the United States is. Democrats tend to take the lead on this subject because contemporary Republicans want women to stay at home, not work, and trade.
Write to your congressman or senators and vote accordingly.
I don’t know, but we already have the AAP and ACOG recommending 6 months at minimum, and the surgeon general labeling parenting as a crisis due to policies, including lack of leave. Apparently, that isn’t enough.
In my opinion, 3 months is horrific timing. The 4-month sleep regression (which happened at 3 months for us), the breastfeeding crisis, a cluster feed, and a growth spurt all happen simultaneously. Oh, and the birthing woman’s body isn’t yet healed either—I wasn’t even cleared for sport, nor is anyone else, until 6 months in.
A lot of women end up quitting when they can’t get an unpaid leave extension or the ability to go part-time. Nursing at that age is a full-time job. Doing two full-time jobs with an unhealed body on ZERO ADULT SLEEP CYCLES is honestly just bad business for employers. That employee will cost more to replace and take far longer than 3 months to (truly!) replace.
I also wish we’d force corporate companies to be more Scandinavian. Those with children under 4 are allowed to scale their hours/salaries. For example, the husband can do 80%, and the wife 20%, and so on, at a respective reduction in salary. This would also solve our childcare crisis.
Democrats do vote for paid and more leave; I just wish everything was better and faster.
In short, vote for Democrats. Republicans have no intention of enacting true paid leave.
However, the leading democratic proposal will still fall short of your implied standards, as it only provides 12 weeks of paid leave for everyone (because not everyone, even the ‘average’ person, receives it), and it is unlikely to be extended any time soon.
I believe that all parents should be able to choose whether to take time off or return to work, but I must emphasize that daycare is not evil. It’s the right decision for many individuals, including my family. If you’ve determined it’s not for you, consider whether you can stay at home.
Yeah, I agree that childcare is not terrible; I just hate that they are unable to provide one-on-one personalized attention, especially to children so young. My wife and I have already decided to become a single-income household, and happily, we can do so while being financially comfortable, but we’re waiting a week or so to see how things go.
My husband and I chose for me to stay home until our child starts preschool. It’s been the best decision. We’re healthier, our child is learning so much, and I love being able to teach her. I miss the extra income, but it’s worth it.
If possible, I highly recommend staying home with your child. Just make sure your partner understands the importance of you having adult interaction and time for yourself. I struggled with depression and isolation for a while. Another mom noticed my struggles and offered to help.
Keep the communication open between you and your partner. It’s essential for maintaining a strong relationship and supporting each other through this challenging time.
I understand; it’s truly insane. I realize my husband and I are exceedingly lucky to be able to survive on one salary, and he received three months’ pay, but most people do not have that. To be honest, even leaving work for a year or two will most likely have an impact on the rest of my career. But I doubt I could have left him in childcare. I understand that many parents do not have a choice, and I do not blame them. However, I do blame our anti-parent, anti-worker culture. I look at most locations in Europe with like a year of parental leave and I’m really jealous.
Yeah, when I look at Europe, I get jealous. Our coworkers simply tell us that this is normal and that everyone goes through it, but I dislike hearing that. Just because something is the standard does not imply it should be. Nobody should have to go through this. I detest it.
It’s just “normal” in America. Canada gets 12 months! The US is barbaric. And while daycare isn’t “evil,” we’re still forced to PAY to have our literal infants watched to a quality we might not like, with high baby-to-caregiver ratios because that’s the reality. Daycares can be so hit or miss, plus the long wait lists—it’s all insane. Just because it’s normal here doesn’t make it any easier.
Going on a bit of a tangent, but I listened to a podcast (maybe on NPR) about how in Sweden, once paternity leave was a national thing, there was a societal shift towards creating spaces for families outside the home and prioritizing children in society. I pray we catch up to that practice someday.