Just as the title says. My son is 8 months old, and we’ve been struggling to pay the bills, so I got a job. Today, one of the managers introduced herself and mentioned that we’d be spending more time at work with coworkers than with our families. That stung a little.
I’m grateful for the job and know I need it—there’s even some excitement about the potential for career growth they’ve mentioned. Still, I can’t help but think about all the time I’m missing with my son. It’s one of those “it is what it is” situations, and I have to do what’s best for my family.
I just wanted to share that I miss spending time with him; now I only get to see him for a couple of hours before bedtime. Parenthood can be so challenging. Not too long ago, I was venting about how lonely it felt being a stay-at-home mom, and now I find myself missing that too. I feel like I just can’t win!
The maternal challenge is genuine. I left a career job while pregnant to become a SAHM, and now that I’m 11 months into parenting, I’m getting cabin fever. You remarked that being a SAHM may be quite lonely and challenging. I miss dressing professionally every morning and traveling to work. However, I know if I went back to work, I’d say the same things you’re saying right now. It’s a no-win situation for sure!
I totally get this—minus the commute to work. I HATED my drive, but I loved my job and coworkers. Being at home can get lonely, but putting my baby in daycare felt impractical cost-wise. When we crunched the numbers, I realized I’d basically be working just to cover daycare, car insurance, and fuel since I was driving 100 miles a day. We ended up saving money by putting my car in storage and dropping to basic insurance, so I don’t need premium fuel anymore.
It really feels like a lose-lose situation as a mom. You miss people as a stay-at-home mom and deal with cabin fever, but when you’re a working mom, you miss your little one. Sure, there are plenty of wins, but for this conversation, it really feels like a lose-lose!
I cried when it was time to go back to work after having my son. I felt like I was failing him by not being there all the time. However, being able to talk to other adults really helped my mental health. Connecting with other moms at work was especially comforting, they truly understand what I’m going through.
My son is 11 months old. I’ll return to work when he turns 15 months old. Every day, I’m so busy trying to get things done while feeding him three meals a day and putting him down for naps that I feel like I’m barely connecting with him in a way that helps him grow. I’m considering enrolling him in a daycare in a month since I believe he’ll benefit from seeing other children and people, as well as new toys and crafts.
When my baby became eight months old, I returned to work part-time. He is now twelve months old, and I am still working part-time. It was the nicest thing I’d ever done for my family. I needed the money, and my son was dealing with an overstimulated, burned-out mother. It greatly relieved the mother’s burnout. I was so depressed and broke as a SAHM.
Waited 22 months! Food stamps, a side hustle, and a few dollars from my brother-in-law. It is still very difficult. Yesterday, I left the house before she awoke and returned well after she had gone to bed. Today was my day off, and I had to clean, prepare meals, and make phone calls.
Congratulations on your new position! That is a major step for both you and your son when he begins daycare. It can be an emotional change, but it sounds like you’re both coping well. Finding the right balance between work and parenthood is difficult, but you’re doing an excellent job. Just remember that it’s alright to have mixed feelings, you’re doing an excellent job!
When ours was born, I was not given any time off. It was difficult for me to take two weeks out without pay. It is what it is, and it is just another fundamentally flawed aspect of our culture that we are unable to be present for our families when they are most in need. But, hey, as long as our boss can purchase another house, that’s all that counts, right?