My baby is just 3 weeks old but I’m really wondering how everyone feels about having more than one kid. My little one was unexpected but I always thought I wanted three kids, and now I’m thinking just having one feels just right
Edit: My husband is 10 years older than me, and we decided we will give it three years to see if we might want another kid or if we feel complete as a family.
And honestly, I don’t get the downvotes, people really downvote anything here.
I’ve always heard not to make decisions about more kids until your first is at least a year old. The first year can be tough and chaotic, so it’s better to wait until then to really figure things out. Especially if you’re considering permanent birth control options like tubes tied or a vasectomy since reversals don’t always work out.
@Hartley
I’m definitely keeping an open mind but I’m kind of amazed at how much my thoughts have shifted so quickly. I’m curious about how everyone else feels.
Nico said:
@Hartley
I’m definitely keeping an open mind but I’m kind of amazed at how much my thoughts have shifted so quickly. I’m curious about how everyone else feels.
When my baby was three weeks, I knew I never wanted another! Now at 8 months, I absolutely want at least one more, maybe even two!
@Hartley
That’s so great to hear!
Nico said:
@Hartley
I’m definitely keeping an open mind but I’m kind of amazed at how much my thoughts have shifted so quickly. I’m curious about how everyone else feels.
I thought I always wanted two, but after my first, I’m basically 100% sure we are one and done. We’ll give it until he starts school to see if we change our minds, but right now, we are very much committed to just one.
@Hartley
My son just turned one and he’s a lot to handle. But if I could, I’d have another in a heartbeat. This first year has been incredible and I miss those early days. He was born with little hair, and now seeing how much he’s grown, I miss that tiny baby stage.
@Hartley
I was all in for one and done, but once my kid turned a year, I started having wild thoughts.
My baby is 4 weeks old and my husband and I are having the same debates. I just can’t imagine handling a toddler while managing a newborn!
Parker said:
My baby is 4 weeks old and my husband and I are having the same debates. I just can’t imagine handling a toddler while managing a newborn!
Totally agree! I’m fortunate to be a stay-at-home mom, which is tough financially, but it gives me time with the baby. I can’t picture handling school, work, and being pregnant with my current little one. I respect those who manage, but I’d prefer to focus on just my one child and my marriage for now. My husband is older and has a teenage son already, so I believe he favors being done.
We have a 7-week-old, and I had a tough birth. Love her and am thankful every day, but for now, we’re thinking one and done. My husband is open to reconsidering in about a year and a half.
Kavi said:
We have a 7-week-old, and I had a tough birth. Love her and am thankful every day, but for now, we’re thinking one and done. My husband is open to reconsidering in about a year and a half.
I’m really sorry to hear about your tough experience at birth.
Kavi said:
We have a 7-week-old, and I had a tough birth. Love her and am thankful every day, but for now, we’re thinking one and done. My husband is open to reconsidering in about a year and a half.
I know how that feels. I’m also at 6.5 months, and I was very set on one and done. I had a tough birth, and after two months I was honest with my husband about how I was unsure if I wanted a sibling for my son, which is wild since I’ve always wanted two. But with everything else going on, I’m no longer keen on a second.
We’re probably one and done for biological kids. I had a tough pregnancy, a failed induction, an emergency C-section, and a rough recovery. I can’t imagine going through that again. Adoption has always been in our talks, so if we decide to grow our family, we’d pursue that instead of a newborn.
@Jalen
I hear you on the tough pregnancy front. I’m sorry about your recovery!
Nico said:
@Jalen
I hear you on the tough pregnancy front. I’m sorry about your recovery!
Thanks! I’m already 35, and although I’m grateful for my healthy daughter, having another is a big risk as I age, and that could take resources away from my first.
@Jalen
I get that! I’m 27, and my husband is 37. I want to be done by 30, especially while I’m in college, and I’d like to provide better for one child versus splitting resources.
We’ve gone back and forth between one or two. I did not enjoy pregnancy, my birth was tough, and dealing with a newborn is extremely hard. Honestly, I don’t know how I could do it all again while managing another kid. My finances also lean towards one. I do worry about my child being lonely without a sibling, but I’m not close with mine so I don’t think a sibling guarantees companionship.
@Wesley
I totally understand. I love my brother but we aren’t close for no real reason at all. Maybe it’s just our age gap.