Casey said:
6 months here and still feel the same even though it gets better.
Same with 11 months.
Same at 7 months. I’m OBSESSED with my son but damn do I miss being able to sit down and play video games after work, or eat a meal in one sitting, or stay up late and then sleep in.
I went through this exact feeling, and I still feel it at times too. I love my daughter, but I wish I could sleep in. I wish I could have a clean house. I wish I could go out whenever I want. I miss not having to eat quickly because the baby gets fussy. While I don’t have a solution, I can tell you that you are not alone. It’s hard to have someone need you 24/7. It’s so demanding and exhausting mentally and physically.
One day he will be grown and leave to start his own life. Your house will be quiet, perfect, and you will have all the “u” time you can handle. I feel like you sometimes. I try to step back and be mindful that this is temporary, but it is also precious. Try to carve out some time to do something for yourself—it is a great reset to have that break in routine.
@Phoenix
I hope when my baby is grown and I’m 40 that I’m still interested in playing Sims 4. Man do I miss playing Sims.
How old is your baby? I felt that way early on but baby is almost a year old and I don’t feel that way anymore. You start to figure out a groove with the baby and also they’re so fun.
Dakota said:
How old is your baby? I felt that way early on but baby is almost a year old and I don’t feel that way anymore. You start to figure out a groove with the baby and also they’re so fun.
My LO will be 7 months on the 1st of December.
Eventually you won’t even be able to remember what it was like having those things & therefore be unable to miss them! Lol kidding…mostly…
Slate said:
Eventually you won’t even be able to remember what it was like having those things & therefore be unable to miss them! Lol kidding…mostly…
I’m not sure how old your son is, but it does get better. My son is about to turn 16 months, and I feel like I have a little of me/my time back. He has one nap that lasts about two hours. In that time, I do yoga, have coffee, and scroll my phone. When he’s awake, he can entertain himself well, so I use that time to do chores. He goes down for the night between 7-8 and then I get a good 3-4 hours to tidy up and watch some Netflix. I still miss date nights as we can’t afford a babysitter, but things are much better now than they were. My husband and I have an evening coffee together, chat about our day, and just relax in each other’s company, sometimes watch an episode of MasterChef or something. It’s not as free as before, but it’s a lot better than the newborn days. I’d say it started to get better around 9-12 months. Hang in there, this too shall pass 
@Thorne
Yes exactly this! Mine is 15 months and I echo everything here. Right around 11 months things started to feel better. When they start taking one long nap, it really frees a lot of time up for yourself. Now of course it’s still exhausting but it feels a little less daunting at this point now. I do still miss my freedom, but things are a lot easier.
3 months here… it gets easier, but I still feel this
I have grieved and buried old me. New me is pretty cool too, but I miss old me too.
Very unpopular opinion in this sub, but you don’t have to completely lose yourself to being a new parent. Your child doesn’t have to be held 24/7 from the second they are born. The ‘fourth trimester’ is a new convention introduced by internet influencers that seems to have gained a following completely out of proportion to the average parents’ reality.
Social Media (and yes, Reddit, too) would have you believe that SAHPs are the norm worldwide; EBF is the holy grail and you are failing your child if you do anything less than heroically persevere, at the expense of your own mental and physical wellbeing; you are causing attachment disorders and brain damage if you make the choice to put your child down to sleep for naps and night sleep; your child should be cared for by you exclusively until they are fully verbal, conversing children because the big, scary people caring for them are all abusers in disguise.
Do you see how unrealistic those ‘expectations’ are for most people? Do what makes sense for you, your child, and your mental and physical health. Yes, there will be a certain level of sleep deprivation during the early months; newborns are intensive, but they don’t have to be all-encompassing unless you decide that is going to be YOUR choice and it fits into your actual lifestyle, not the lifestyle the internet has told you is what you should be doing.
You’ll ‘get your pink back’ someday! I’m finally feeling more like me 1 year pp.
2 weeks with a LO and I honestly think this one hits so hard. I didn’t anticipate I would miss so much of my life. Like logically/conceptually I knew, but actually living it day to day is something else.
Thank you for posting, as FTM this is everything to me. I feel seen and validated for crying about it so damn much.
I feel exactly the way you do. I had my baby 4 weeks ago yet it feels like it’s been so much longer. I love my daughter so much it hurts sometimes and just looking at her cute sleeping face brings me to tears but I do miss time alone with my husband and time alone with myself. I keep hearing the newborn stage is especially difficult and it will get easier, but right now I feel like this no sleep, no time, no fun life that I’ve been living will go on forever.
I miss having a clean house and being able to take more than a 10 minute shower haha and being able to wear one outfit without having to change multiple times a day and quick errands outside that now take twice as long. I love my daughter so much, but I miss these luxuries and I like to always have her with me.
Wow, did I write this? 6.5 weeks in, I miss my old life
FTD to a bad bad sleeper, nothing has been easy, but things are getting better 8 months now. It does get better, hang in there.
I feel the same way.
I even had a mourning period because I realized I will never be the same again.
Not like the new me won’t get to sleep and have hobbies at some point, but I have changed.
And changes, even for better, are hard.
I love what I am yet to become, I never thought I would be capable of so much love or how strong I am.
But I miss the old me; she was kinda cool too, and I feel sad I didn’t know it was over, and didn’t get the chance to say goodbye.