I know this isn’t helpful now, but think about how cute and embarrassing your baby/toddler stories are from when you were a kid- and how you’ll be able to tell her her silly quirks when she grows up, too! One day the chaos will be a lovely, happy memory. Stay strong during this rough patch and good luck mama!
Little people, big feelings by Gen Muir is a great great book for toddler feelings and a whole section on new babies to the family.
Send her to daycare a few times a week. She’ll interact with kids her age, let her energy out, practice listening to authority, and hopefully come back home refreshed.