My first child is 8 weeks old, and I often find myself in awe of being a mom. I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I have a daughter, that she is MY baby. It’s not a negative feeling, just a surreal one. I was always just me, and now I have her, who is also a part of me (and her dad)!
Sometimes, I get these out-of-body experiences, thinking, “Wow, this is really a whole person I will be taking care of for the rest of my life,” especially on the longer days. My pregnancy seemed to fly by, maybe because I loved every moment of it. But now, it feels like I suddenly have a baby, and my mind doesn’t always comprehend it or feel ready for it.
Does anyone else feel like it’s all a fake-out or a dream sometimes?
Yes, without a doubt. My spouse and I sometimes say things like, "Can you believe we had a baby? My baby is five months old. like a baby’s entire ass? Who allowed us to become parents?
Yes, the baby is eight months old. You’re the same guy that I gave birth to? I ask him as I glance at him. Is that the same infant who kicked me in those videos? You’re my baby, right? Of course, I love him dearly, but what the fuck am I doing with a baby, girl?
I have the same reaction when I look at my six-month-old—I think, “Wow, she’s mine.” When she was a newborn, I truly felt cut off from her, even though I was loving her unconditionally. It was as like I was taking care of a baby that wasn’t mine. It’s such an odd sensation.
It took me six months to realize that I was carrying a human being—a whole person—inside of me. Even at ten months old, I still find it hard to accept that my LO is real! Realizing you are a parent and fully accountable for this child is a strange feeling, particularly when you don’t feel like an adult😅
