I am 5 weeks away from my due date and have been torn over how to handle grandparents seeing the newborn. The initial plan was for both grandparents to pay a visit to the infant shortly after birth. My mother would stay with us for two weeks (using her PTO) to help with housework, cooking, and cleaning while I recovered. My husband’s parents would stay in a hotel, but we were not sure how long or how they would help.
Last night, my husband and I began discussing “boundaries” with the infant, primarily that we did not want strangers kissing the newborn. We were unsure how to enforce it, particularly with my in-laws. I was also concerned about the fact that my in-laws make a habit of visiting their other grandchildren even when they are unwell.
Some websites advised against having any visitors (including grandparents) for the first few weeks, and we are now considering it. After my husband’s paternity leave (~4 weeks) ends, I want to have my mother help for 2 weeks, followed by visits from my in-laws. Basically, spread out the visits. However, this is our first child, and we are not sure if we are overestimating the amount of assistance we will require at first. Has anyone completed the first month by themselves, and how did it go?
1 Like
Handling visitors and setting boundaries around newborn care can be a challenging decision for new parents, especially with your due date approaching soon. Many parents find it beneficial to have support in the early weeks after birth, whether from family or hired help, but the specifics can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances and preferences. Some parents do manage the first month on their own successfully, relying on their own resources and adjusting to the new routine gradually. It’s important to prioritize your comfort and the health of your newborn, especially regarding visitors and their interactions. Enforcing boundaries, such as no kissing the baby, is reasonable and crucial for protecting your baby’s health, especially in the current environment. If you’re uncertain about the level of assistance needed, consider discussing a flexible plan with your support system, where visits can be staggered to allow for recovery time and help when it’s most needed. Every family’s experience with newborn care is unique, so trust your instincts and prioritize what feels right for you and your baby’s well-being during this special and challenging time.
1 Like
In my culture, when you give birth, you go live with the mother’s parents for the first 40 days of the parent’s life. So my husband and I and our baby moved in with my parents for a month and a half. And having assistance from my family was vitally necessary. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without my parents and siblings who still live at home to help me. So not having family help would be unusual for me, but I understand that there is a cultural gap between my culture and the United States. But just my two cents, it’s quite helpful.