Feeling terrible because your child isn't saying much?

So, my little one is nearly 18 months old and has been using sign language solidly for at least four months (very basic stuff like milk, more, sleep, “I’m done”). I know 18 months is supposed to be a language milestone—online sources and books suggest they should be able to say anywhere from 20 to 60 words. My toddler barely says six words! She’ll say mom, dad, no, more, cat, and water, and on a “bad day,” she’ll stick to only mom and dad.

I understand that all children develop differently, and we’re especially patient because she’s exposed to four different languages daily (Portuguese, German, Danish, and English). However, I’ve read that this shouldn’t affect language development.

As a first-time parent, I’m second-guessing myself. We read a lot of books together every day, but I’m definitely not a parent who narrates everything (e.g., changing the diaper—my mind is too busy). Do you have any advice?

I would not worry too much. Mine began speaking more frequently around the age of two. She is now 2.5 years old and speaks over 100 words. She can count, say the alphabet, sing songs, and so on. You can always visit a speech therapist, but at 18 months, I wouldn’t. Every child is different.

Our son’s tale is nearly identical. He spent a stressfully long time misunderstanding mama and dada, but now at 2.5 years old, he has endless vocabulary, can tell stories, and never stops talking.

Also, I’m not sure whether this is pseudoscience, but our son walked extremely early and has always been much ahead of the curve in terms of bodily control, so I just told myself that he spent those early months focusing all of his ability points on agility, which is why language came later.

Receptive vocabulary is important for youngsters who are learning many languages at the same time. Children who learn many languages frequently understand more total words than their peers while producing fewer words in the beginning. Some bilingual children don’t speak for a long, but their vocabulary is on point! And your child is hearing four languages, which is fantastic! You can test her on shapes and colors with toys and see if she can point out some different objects to see if she understands, but I believe this is a perfectly natural progression for your child.

Are you saying she only says six spoken words? Because signing counts as a word. As are animal sounds, so if she can bark, baa, or moo, those are words.

I didn’t realize that! Then her vocabulary is larger than I expected. I thought it only counted actual, correctly uttered words.

Yes, a lot of things count. My 20-month-old has three “extra” words because she knows the names of three of our animals.

That is very sweet! Thank you very much for being honest.

You are not alone. My infant is 17 months old and only knows the word dada. The doctors want Emma to go to speech therapy, so we’re on the waiting list. Every mother I’ve talked to about it, however, says not to worry because none of their children knew 20 words by 18 months.

Is speech treatment already underway? Oof, I want to hear more about what happened in your circumstance! Where I reside, I don’t think they’ll send me to a speech therapist right away; I’ll wait a little longer. Thanks very much for your response!

Yeah, it’s ridiculous, and the waitlist to get into the program can be as long as 18 months. All the mothers I’ve talked to have told me not to worry and that the 20-words-by-18-months benchmark is unrealistic. The only reason I put my daughter on the waitlist is because I had a language disorder as a kid, and we also have a niece with autism who is non-verbal. But I really think my baby will be just fine.

Given the context, that makes more sense! Nonetheless, I wish you both the best of luck.

I’m a pediatric occupational therapist. In the United States, there is a program called Early Intervention (EI). This program provides reduced (or sometimes free) therapy for children aged 0 to 3. Occupational, physical, developmental, and speech therapy.

I worked for EI for seven years, both in treatment and on the evaluation team. You can undoubtedly receive therapy through the program. The waitlist can be extensive in some locations, but it is less expensive than private therapy. And the evaluation is comprehensive, with an entire team deciding whether or not to recommend speech to your LO.

If it helps, I would have gone to a speech therapist if I was a toddler today, but I turned out great. Sometimes children are fully capable of speaking (or doing anything else) but do not want to demonstrate it for various reasons.