I’m a full-time mother of a two-month-old girl. As my baby began cooing and flashing elusive smiles, I observed that she was far more responsive to Dad than to me. Even my partner admitted it!!! He also stated that he has noticed that our baby looks at him more than she does at me, stares at him for longer periods of time, makes more noises for him, and grins far more for him. I try to do exactly what he does: I grin at our daughter, make noises, make exaggerated faces to entertain her, chat to her, and so on.I occasionally get a response or a small smile, but most of the time she sees me and simply looks away, or she will gaze at me, but it is quite difficult to evoke a smile from her.
Has this occurred to anyone else? I feel rejected by my own baby.
For perspective, my spouse and I have been sharing childcare responsibilities rather evenly because he has stayed at home with me rather than returning to work. I work the night shift and normally sleep in the mornings. My theory is that our baby spends more time awake with Dad than with me. She’s been “sleeping through the night” and is almost always asleep during her night feeding. I’m not sure if this hypothesis makes sense, but I’m seeking a rationale as to why.
This. I almost cried when I picked up my 11-week-old daughter from daycare, and she took four minutes to notice I was there. She was so obsessed with the ceiling fan that she couldn’t have cared less about how much I missed her.
For real! When I need to make a bottle or use the restroom quickly, I just bring the baby into the bedroom and let him look at the fan while I do what I need to do . He’s so entertained with the ceiling fan that he’ll start babbling at it, lol.
This is extremely typical!! I haven’t had it personally, but I’ve seen enough of these posts to know you’re not alone. People were saying something about how babies don’t always recognize Mum as a different entity from themselves, therefore they don’t respond as much as they do to others. Like, would you prefer to smile at yourself in the mirror or at someone else in the room? Right now, your smell and her smell will be quite similar, and the emotional umbilical connection has not been severed. I remember being unable to smell my LO’s feces for almost 9 weeks; everything about him smelled like me to my head.
She will ultimately grow out of it, but there will be months of separation anxiety from 8 months on where you will wish she was happy with someone other than you When babies reach that milestone, it is natural for them to be fickle about who their “favourite” caregiver is, switching it up from week to week or month to month.
The important thing is not to take it personally! Your baby is not hating you; she is simply growing and maturing normally. Xx
Same thing… it’s been 6.5 months and I’m really sorry to leave the room. When she is only two feet away, disappear into the bathroom in panic. And a lot of whining… she was usually a calm baby, but now she whines all day. I also hope she grows out of this stage quickly.
I recently read a comment that stated, “You don’t smile at the earth, you smile at the sky.” You are everything to your baby; she has no idea you and she are separate yet!
My daughter is a year old, and when she sees her father, she beams, a smile reserved just for him. When she is sad, sleepy, hungry, or unwell, she seeks for her mother. It’s unique, but boy is it special.
Babies produce more oxytocin when they play with dad and cuddle with their mother. You could find it easier to calm them down, for example.
Baby is probably just loving feeling secure and protected in your arms! As others have mentioned, I believe it is only after around 6 months that they recognize they are a separate entity from you. I promise your baby adores you.
I heard somewhere that children generally seek to their mothers for reassurance and comfort, and to their fathers for fun and play. It could just be the wiring that’s playing a part and making dad appear like the “fun” parent right now.
