What makes you like and trust your pediatrician? I believe I want to locate a new one.
Being attentive and gentle. The amount of time they are willing to devote to you and your loved one. The way they allow you to express your insecurities and difficulties and handle them as needed.
Pediatrician and mom here, following for tips!
Listens and takes your inquiries and concerns seriously. Genuinely concerned about your child’s well-being.
My son is crippled and suffers from a degenerative hereditary condition. When the geneticist submitted the results to the pediatrician, she called to see how my husband and I were doing and to give encouragement. She told us to call her if we just wanted to talk.
At the one-year mark, I inquired whether we should continue with formula (you get the toddler 1+ year plus variety) or switch to milk. I mentioned that I’d heard cow’s milk is bad and wasn’t sure what advice to take because there is so much information out there on everything. She then outlined the appropriate course of action in a way that made sense, acknowledged my fears, and encouraged me to avoid using the formula because it was unnecessary, among other things. This interaction made me instantly like her.
When my pediatrician would compliment my kids, talk to them even if they were babies and couldn’t understand, and seemed genuinely concerned about my mental health as well, it made such a difference. My kids were seeing different pediatricians initially (when my second was born, my older child’s doctor wasn’t available for the newborn screen, so I switched both kids to the new one). The first pediatrician was all business and didn’t make me feel personally connected.
Our new doctor is so kind to my girls. Even when my toddler loses her cool and screams the whole time at the doctor 
, she remains patient. She does her best to examine my screaming toddler in my arms, which I always thought was sweet.
A good pediatrician is willing to walk you through their decision-making process for their recommendations and has a clear plan to start with.
It’s harder to identify this quality on your own, but word of mouth can be invaluable. Hearing from other medical professionals or parents who were referred to specialists or hospitals by this pediatrician can be reassuring. Our pediatrician is an old-school guy who doesn’t dwell on minor issues and has mediocre bedside manners, but he has occasionally referred both my kids and friends’ kids to the pediatric hospital based on symptoms that barely registered with us parents. Every time, the hospital staff would say, “Oh, he’s good. He caught such and such so early; this could have been very bad, but now it’s going to be fine.”
A great pediatrician understands the realities of parenting an infant. Instead of insisting on perfection, they help parents achieve “good enough.”
They consider the child’s emotional well-being (we had a pediatrician who could give vaccines without tears!).
They support your decisions, whether it’s breastfeeding or formula feeding, sleep training or not, without pushing their own opinions.
Not dismissing your concerns as “first-time parent” BS. We’ve had so many health scares with our LO since birth, and thankfully, no clinician has made us feel like we’re overreacting or freaking out (yet). In fact, we’ve always been encouraged to seek second views from specialists, imaging, and so on, even if his primary care pediatrician said everything was fine.
I’d also recommend looking for practices with numerous doctors rather than just one who has their own practice, because I believe the level of care and training is significantly higher and more up to date when multiple physicians are present in a facility.
And if you haven’t used it before, Google Reviews is an excellent place to begin!
An effective diagnostician. They act as detectives since children, particularly newborns, cannot often explain their ailments (similar to veterans).
I’ve only had my child for about 4 months and he’s my first, so I can’t say much, but the first pediatrician we saw was dreadful. She was very accusatory about the strangest things, she didn’t listen to our worries, she would say one thing one month and then another the next, etc.
They could observe how the pediatrician’s calm demeanor soothed the parents, even when their concerns appeared overwhelming.
Genuine care. Our pediatrician instructed the nurse to phone me a few days after our initial visit to check in. We were first-time parents, and I had unknowingly developed PPD. I will never forget that phone call. I greatly loved how much they cared.
I want a pediatrician who is patient enough to listen to any concerns I have about my child. If the pediatrician doesn’t find my concerns worrisome, I want to understand why (based on their experience and science) so I can feel confident that they understood my concern. If my concerns do worry the pediatrician, I want to hear their thoughts and work together to find a solution.
It’s also crucial that my pediatrician respects me as the parent and my decisions for my child. I don’t want to feel pressured into making decisions. I want to be supported with clear information about the pros and cons of medical decisions, so I can make the best choice for my child.
I had to find a new pediatrician after a poor experience during a 12-month check-up. It was around COVID time, and I was about 4 months pregnant. The pediatrician asked if I was vaccinated, and I said no, not yet (it had just come out, and I had some medical history concerns I was discussing with my OB). The shot wasn’t even available for children yet, so it wasn’t relevant to her actual patient. She gave me a long lecture about how irresponsible I was (without knowing I was pregnant or my medical history, which was none of her business) and gave my daughter the shortest exam, insisting we switch her from formula to whole milk, even though I explained my preemie daughter was struggling with solid foods.
I was so disgusted that she let her opinions interfere with the quality of care for her actual patient that I switched pediatricians. The new one listened to my concerns about my daughter not eating solids and helped us slowly wean off formula as her eating improved.
She’s gentle with your baby, treats you (and your spouse) with respect, doesn’t make you feel silly for asking questions or being concerned, appears to like her job, and remembers you and your child.
My son’s pediatrician is also my doctor, and I’ve known her for years! She always listens to my concerns and explains things in a way that makes sense. If she doesn’t think I have an illness or need a test, she thoroughly explains why and offers a compromise that makes me feel better about the issue. As a hypochondriac, it’s really important for me to have someone who can level with me.
On the flip side, even though I’m often incorrect with my own self-diagnoses, I’ve been spot on with anything my son has had going on. Whenever I bring it up to my doctor, she never shuts me down or makes assumptions. She always takes my concerns seriously and lets me know my “mom investigation skills” are on point. Even though I’m usually off course with my own medical stuff and she helps me navigate that, she never lets it affect how she interacts with me during my son’s appointments.