This post might be unpopular, but I hope it helps at least one person…
I see a lot of posts about wake windows and sleep regressions. Good sleep is so important—it can make or break your day, week, or life. These topics had me stressed out. Am I following the wake windows correctly? What will happen when the 4-month regression hits and I’m back at work??
If you have anxiety like me (or even if you don’t ), I invite you to check out r/sciencebasedparenting. In reality, wake windows are not backed by any scientific evidence and are something made up, for lack of a better term, by “momfluencers” and “sleep consultants.” We all know different babies need different amounts of sleep, so assigning an arbitrary number to a group of similarly aged babies isn’t good practice and isn’t based on science.
Sleep “regressions” is also a term not totally based in science. Yes, there are periods when your baby might have poor sleep during large developmental leaps, but if you search medical literature for “sleep regressions,” you’ll come up empty. This isn’t to discount the many parents who have experienced periods of poor or terrible sleep, but to point out that Reddit can sometimes be an echo chamber. If someone asks about the dreaded 4-month sleep regression, of course, parents who experienced it will be the ones commenting. One meta-analysis I read polled parents about their baby’s sleep habits around 4 months, and only 30% noted any change in their sleep patterns at all.
Again, this information isn’t to discount or invalidate the experiences of many parents. For me, it gave me hope and lessened my anxiety. If following “wake windows” and preparing for/leaning into regressions has helped you, keep on keepin’ on and just ignore me .
Thank you for posting this. A lot of it felt very non-scientific, but our tired, new parent brains were quick to latch onto anything, especially when people said you had to establish it early—and that people or apps could help you for a price.
We’ve found it better to take it day by day, lean on our pediatrician when needed, and carefully consider anecdotes, stories, and tips. I have a 3-month-old who simply cannot follow these absurd wake windows. It made me worried that I was failing. Nope, my baby just needs shorter, more frequent naps and sometimes doesn’t have these long wake windows.
I wish my newsfeed wasn’t overrun with baby sleep consultants. All of this has given me concern! Also, can we discuss leaps and sleep associations? My infant is four months old, and I have not noticed any increased fussiness or drastic changes in sleep. I was anxious because my kid used to go asleep on his own but now need further assistance. For the past few weeks, he has been going asleep after a bottle. Last night he slept for 9.5 hours straight. We’ve been feeding our babies to sleep for millennia!
Thank you for this. It’s vital to remember that many individuals earn a living by instilling fear about sleep regressions, as if you have to plan for them or suffer the consequences. We are so thirsty for consistency and rationale during these easy months that we will pay out our asses to alleviate some of the burden.
Thank you very lot for posting this! I feel so awful not following “proper” wake windows, but I’ve been going off my LO’s particular cues, so I hope I’m not ruining her up.
I can’t believe how wake windows, regressions, and “leaps” are attributed to so many different causes when none of it is supported by actual scientific research. I said it throughout my pregnancy and will continue to say it: maternal and newborn research is severely insufficient.
), I invite you to check out r/sciencebasedparenting. In reality, wake windows are not backed by any scientific evidence and are something made up, for lack of a better term, by “momfluencers” and “sleep consultants.” We all know different babies need different amounts of sleep, so assigning an arbitrary number to a group of similarly aged babies isn’t good practice and isn’t based on science.