Does anyone else think this is unrealistic? To me, it means time to do dishes, do laundry, dine, and use the restroom!
Sleep when the baby naps, cry when the baby cries, and fold laundry when the baby folds it.
I’ve already mastered using the restroom with a baby on my shoulder, and I’m oddly proud of this overlooked ability!
…that final one escalates into sitting on separate potty chairs, staring at each other while doing business.
Will the cat then sit in my toddler’s lap, or will she remain perched on me?
The solution is two cats
I snorted and laughed at this. Thank you 
.
Oh, yeah, or, in our case, him in his bouncer and me on the poop throne. He thinks my pooping is the most amusing thing in the world, which makes my day!
My LO appears to poop while watching me poop. 
There’s nothing glamorous about parenting!
Oh, I am extremely good at crying when the baby cries. 
The easiest skill to master!
My kid is now extremely quiet and cheerful, but when she was younger, she had reflux and problems with ordinary formula. I can’t tell you how many times I cried while she cried during her first two weeks of existence. We had to force feed her while she was getting used to sensitive formula and medications since she linked feeding with pain. I had to feed her once an hour for a few days (she had previously refused to eat for her father). I was so exhausted it seemed like I was drunk. For me, crying when the baby cried was normal. I cried even though she wasn’t crying.
literally had to do that the second week he came home. Wife went out for a little bit and my stomach did a backflip.
Honestly, I wish I had listened to this advice a little more
Same. I could have gotten a lot more sleep during the infant stage.