Tonight was rough. We typically don’t cosleep with our babies because I don’t like the risks involved and my husband is a very heavy sleeper. However tonight was a bad one. Our 2mo would not go to sleep without being held. I don’t know why tonight was different for her but she refused to go down by herself. I was so exhausted so I decided to lay in bed with her and accidentally fell asleep with her on my chest. I guess in my sleep I rolled to my side and she fell into the middle of the bed. When I woke up like 30 mins to an hour later it was because she was fully under the blanket with my husband’s leg over her legs and my arm over her head. I woke up because she was squirming around trying to get our attention because she couldn’t breathe. When I pulled her out from under the blanket she literally gasped for air. Thank God I woke up or something very bad would have happened. I even told my husband when I brought her to bed that I wasn’t going to put her in the middle because I don’t think she’s safe there and then she ended up in the middle anyways. Needless to say I will not be cosleeping again until she and her brother are way older.
Edited to add: I know the rules of safe cosleeping, like I said I accidentally fell asleep. I planned to stay awake and put her back in her bed when she fell asleep that’s just not what happened.
Scary. Glad everything is ok. But you have wayyyy safer options.
No dad in bed. Just you and baby. Put bed on the floor. Ideally no blanket or pillow so dress warmer to bed. You kinda need to stay on your side in that curl position to minimize yourself rolling. Try to avoid cosleeping until at least 4 months.
You live and learn. My 14 mo old just fell off the bed while sleeping with me for the first time tonight like 2 hours ago. I’m sad. Bed is finally moving to the floor tomorrow.
@Rafe
This. I don’t cosleep as a rule, but if our 5mo wakes up and we’re both too tired to be trusted, baby goes in the middle of the bed, I put on my robe so I don’t need blankets, and husband gets kicked to the couch while I nurse her to sleep. Once she can roll I may look into mesh bed rails or just put the bed on the floor. If I feel weird about it I set a timer on my phone to vibrate every 10-20 minutes, which usually keeps me from falling too asleep. That might be overkill but my baby was born early so we don’t have the ‘full term baby’ component of safe cosleeping so I really try to avoid actual intentional cosleeping, at least until she’s a little older.
I know you feel awful, not here to shame you. If you haven’t already, please research safe co-sleeping methods as soon as possible.
It’s quite possible that you have a night again like tonight and that’s the only way she’ll go down. Also nights like tonight is when you share the responsibility of holding her to sleep if you’re not going to co-sleep.
@Cruz
I second this, please op be prepared to be tired and co-sleep even if you are not planning it… It’s way safer this way than not being prepared and end up in a not safe situation… It’s like wearing a seatbelt… You put it on even though you are not planning to have an accident…
I’m glad she’s ok. None of us meant to fall asleep but exhaustion is real. The sleep deprivation would impress the CIA. Even if you don’t plan on cosleeping, just follow safe sleep guidelines anyway, that way should you fall asleep, all will be a lot safer.
That sounds so scary. I’m so sorry that happened to you and your baby but I’m so incredibly happy to hear she was strong enough to squirm around and wake you up.
I couldn’t imagine hearing that gasp
Maybe get a chair to sit in instead of laying comfortably in your bed to help you stay awake.
Also, I know it’s terrible, but I scroll through my phone in the middle of the night during night feedings to help me stay awake.
Best of luck to you, from one sleep deprived mom to another
Edited to add: I know the rules of safe cosleeping, like I said I accidentally fell asleep. I planned to stay awake and put her back in her bed when she fell asleep that’s just not what happened.
This is the whole point though, just follow them any time the baby is in the bed, in case you do fall asleep. (Unless it’s like… middle of the day wide awake and you’re playing with them in the bed for some reason, obviously).
If you’re worried about your husband being a deep sleeper I’d suggest getting a well-fitting bedrail asap, so you can feel safe putting baby on the outside.
I’ve fallen asleep accidentally too, it’s so scary. I was sitting upright feeding and I held them the few hours I was asleep for. I still can’t believe it happened, and that I held her the whole time. I woke up and panicked so hard that something might have happened. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
I know it’s hard, but try not to let it eat you up. Ultimately nothing bad happened - you woke and realized in time. The what ifs are only useful to prevent something happening in the future. You know what you’d do differently next time and that’s enough. There won’t be a parent who hasn’t had a near miss while exhausted. These things always feel insurmountable when we’re tired, too. The account ‘cosleepy’ has just released their bed sharing guide free, if you need some confidence with bed sharing. It’s one thing knowing how to do it, but another entirely getting confident with it.
Remember you’re not alone in what happened, or how you feel.
I personally also won’t ever cosleep with my kids (not even following ‘safe’ cosleeping options) because it’s simply always going to be more risky than sleeping independently.
I’m happy nothing bad occurred and so sorry it happened but just give yourself grace and forgive.
I’m so sorry this happened. She might have only been able to fall asleep in your arms because she’s cold, if you live somewhere where it gets colder. Trying bundling her up more or turn the heat on.
Get a side crib attached to your bed! When too tired or side-lying nursing you can lay her down on the other side of the bed. If you happen to fall asleep it would be safer.
There is also a way to safe chest sleep. Check ‘cosleepy’ on Instagram. Babies really love it. I agree with the above person to have your bed prepped for safe co-sleeping at all times so that this cannot happen.
