My wife and I just got home from the hospital with our newborn and are having trouble sleeping and not being concerned about whether or not he is well. Even the sound makes us worried if he’s breathing well or if he’ll suffocate or something. He occasionally makes gasping noises. Normally when taking a bottle. Everything feels like we’re on the verge of losing our baby, and I’m not sure how to get past that. The prospect of this being my reality for months is overwhelming, and I’m not sure how to get over it. Any advice or encouragement would be much appreciated.
This is very usual. You’ll rapidly find that babies are far stronger than you believe they are. I believe it took a few weeks for my husband and I to stop worrying about everything. I swear we phoned our midwives every day, asking, “Is this normal?” The standard response was, “Yes, babies are weird.”
Thank you for the encouragement. Any recommendations for how my wife and I can get some sleep while we go through this phase? We are considering sleeping in turns but are unsure whether this is a viable solution.
Great solution. We still work shifts. In reality, I am watching television at 5 a.m. with my daughter practicing tummy time. The wife is in bed. Give her as much rest as she can obtain. Women are superhero mothers, but we must look after them and let them sleep whenever feasible.
Sleeping in shifts is excellent if you can manage it! I discovered that my husband and I feed off of each other’s exhausted worry. When there was only one of us at a time, it was easy to focus on the infant without feeling anxious. Furthermore, having a good stretch before sleeping might be really beneficial!
I definitely recommend reading Newborn Reflexes and Behavior because it explains what is normal, what isn’t, and what constitutes an emergency. I hope you find it helpful. 
Thanks a lot. I will definitely start reading that!
We did this with baby #1 and it was the only way we got to sleep.
Grab an Owlet sock! It saved my sanity and allowed me to sleep.
NGL, I couldn’t sleep unless I had some device that would alert me if she stopped breathing while sleeping. It was obviously a mental thing, because after I realized she was fine, I was able to sleep better without it. But I was desperate for more than one-hour stretches of sleep! And it benefited me. I hope you can get some rest soon!
I’d be more concerned if you didn’t feel this way. The sense of being responsible for your baby’s existence is really overwhelming. I can’t remember how many times I thought I broke my baby’s arm while changing garments or whacked her head too hard on my chest while burping.
If you haven’t already tried it, sleeping in shifts can help you both receive the rest you need to care for such a small human. You’ll do amazing!
Thank you. I think we are going to try sleeping in shifts tonight. The nights are the hardest so far.
I experienced the worst nighttime anxiety! My LO is 9 months old, and I still get it occasionally. It gets better, but the loss of sleep is difficult. Shifts were quite helpful to us. I believed we’d perish from lack of sleep. I had OCD and was really afraid of SIDS. We ended up spending the extra money on a Nanit with beachwear technology, which helped a lot. You’re doing wonderful, and the kid is fortunate to have parents that care so much.
You’re all great. Thank you so much for your support and comfort. I feel much better after reading this. I’ll share them with my wife to soothe her as well.
It’s completely normal to feel this way. Both of you are likely still processing the trauma of childbirth and the lack of sleep. Try to get some rest whenever you can, and remember that this phase will pass. If things get worse, it might be worth talking to your doctor about the possibility of postpartum depression (PPD), which can affect both moms and dads.
Babies are incredibly resilient. It’s normal to call the doctor for minor concerns, and don’t be surprised if you end up making at least one hospital visit for something minor before their first birthday. (For us, it was when our baby accidentally rolled off the bed, he was fine.)
Try not to stress too much about SIDS. It’s extremely rare, especially when you follow safe sleep guidelines. You can also reduce the risk by using a fan for air circulation or giving your baby a pacifier.
Thank you very much. I’ll absolutely check into that. SIDS concerns me a lot. Just the thought of him breaking free from a swaddle while sleeping makes me fear.