New mamas, here’s a little reminder. Six months into being a first-time mom, I wish I hadn’t put so much pressure on myself.
Breathe, you don’t have to do everything. Enjoy the little moments with your baby—look into their eyes, smell them, kiss those little fingers, and whisper how much you love them. There’s no need to rush into a routine or panic if your baby isn’t on a schedule. They don’t need to be, and neither do you—at least not right now. Hugs, hugs, hugs. You’ve got this, pretty lady! You’re amazing! I wish I could hug my 6-month-ago self. Every day will fall into place. It’s okay to start some mornings earlier than others and to sleep later than other nights. It’s okay to nap when your baby naps. It’s okay to have dirty laundry and dishes. It’s okay to wash your hair and put on some moisturizer. It’s okay to walk outside barefoot and breathe. You’re incredible. This is your journey—don’t let the internet or others dictate how it should be. You set the rules as the weeks go by. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much research; choose 1-3 reliable sources and trust your maternal instincts. You are beautiful.
I feel like my wife needs to read this; she cries at every little thing that’s not perfect at this moment and is even harder on herself when the baby is having a tough time.
arnoldbeaver said:
I feel like my wife needs to read this; she cries at every little thing that’s not perfect at this moment and is even harder on herself when the baby is having a tough time.
I did that too in the first couple of weeks and occasionally after. Postpartum hormones are CRAZY. My husband found me more than once holding my clean, fed, happy baby and crying over him about what a bad mother I was.
Grab her some tissues and remind her that the baby is safe, fed, and has a great mom.
Seriously, thank you. I’m three weeks in and it’s so hard not to want to do absolutely everything. It’s frustrating for my husband because I’m having a hard time relinquishing control. I need to let up a bit so we can both enjoy our sweet baby girl more and stress less.
I just let out the deepest breath. My mom is watching my baby and for the first time, I don’t know what to do with myself. Thank you, I’m about to go take a walk
Stormy said:
I just let out the deepest breath. My mom is watching my baby and for the first time, I don’t know what to do with myself. Thank you, I’m about to go take a walk
Hope you enjoyed your walk! I take one just about every time my in-laws come to watch the baby now. It’s the perfect reset button for me!
I feel like I’ll probably have a lot of guilt and regret twenty years from now because I wasn’t able to enjoy this first year more. I was so focused on the negatives, and I still am sometimes, especially when I go on social media. Now my 13-month-old is much more active and sweet and interactive, and I want to soak it up. Every time I look at her old photos and videos, I get sad about the person I was in those moments—feeling isolated and stuck. It’s hard when people say the toddler and teenager ages are the worst. I start worrying about those unknowns and it ruins my present. I hate my negative outlook; I can’t enjoy the present.
@Dallas
I resonate with this. My guy is only 10+ weeks, but I feel this post in my soul. Easier said than done, but try not to be so hard on yourself, especially if it’s your first. Having a baby is a HUGE life change, and it’s very, VERY hard; it’s not an easy adjustment. I also struggle to enjoy the present because I ruminate over every terrible thing that could happen in the future and want to be prepared. But those things very rarely, if ever, actually happen. I went to social media to try and prepare myself but it made it 1000% worse. My mind’s immediate response is often negativity, but that’s not the truth. Your baby is fed, dry, loved, and well cared for, and that’s what matters. They won’t remember you in those early days. I try to think of one thing I was thankful for that day OR the best thing that happened that day. Even if it was just, ‘the best part of today was making it through.’ We lost our best friend (our dog) after 9.5 years this past Thursday, and it’ll be a true test for me to not spiral, but I keep telling myself that the baby won’t remember me being sad, and to take it one day or hour at a time.
Thank you for this The postpartum mood swings have me all over the place, but these posts are so helpful. My 11-day-old is currently napping on my chest, and I’m going to give her some extra kisses now.
Thank you for this! I’m 5 months in, and the biggest advice I would give myself in the beginning is to stop researching and reading so much. It will fall into place! You know your baby better than anyone
Wow, I had NO idea how much I needed to read this. When I take any time for myself, I feel a little lost and guilty. But on the other hand, if I don’t take care of myself, who will? I cried a bit reading this and am so grateful for your kind words.