Just Realized My Baby Was Cold at Night – Feeling So Guilty

Childcare Forum
1

Hello…I’m feeling really overwhelmed and guilty right now, and I just need to vent and maybe get some advice. My son is 10.5 months old, and for months now, he’s been waking up multiple times a night. My husband and I have been so exhausted that we started bringing him into our bed just to get some sleep since we both work full-time. I returned to work when he was 6 months old, and the broken sleep has been really tough.

A few days ago, we decided to try the extinction method to help him learn to sleep through the night because he was so dependent on us rocking him to sleep and feeding him a bottle. The first night took about an hour, but by the fourth night, he was settling himself within a few minutes, which felt like progress. However, I noticed he would still wake up around 4 am, and we’d usually bring him into our bed by then—except for last night.

Last night, we didn’t hear him crying, and when I checked the monitor, I realized he had been crying on and off between 1:30-3:30 and again from 5-6. I didn’t hear him, and when I got him up in the morning, his hands were ice cold. :sob::sob::sob:

I feel so guilty because I think he’s been waking up every night because he was cold. I had him dressed in a singlet, long-sleeve onesie, and a 2.5 tog sleep sack, but clearly, it wasn’t enough. Last night, I added socks over his onesie and put him in the sleep sack, and he SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! So all this time, my poor baby was cold, and I didn’t realize it. :sob::sob::sob:

I feel like the worst mom ever, especially for last night when he was crying because he was cold, and I didn’t get to him. I’m just so heartbroken and feel terrible for not figuring it out sooner. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you handle the guilt?

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I completely understand how you’re feeling. When my child was a baby, I went through something similar where I was trying different sleep training methods while also dealing with the exhaustion of returning to work. I felt immense guilt when I realized that my baby wasn’t sleeping well due to being too cold, despite my efforts to keep them warm. It was tough to balance sleep training with ensuring their comfort, and I also felt heartbroken for not catching it sooner. What helped me was reminding myself that parenting is a learning process and that it’s okay to make adjustments as you go along. You’re doing your best, and recognizing the issue and addressing it shows your dedication to your child’s well-being. It’s a journey, and you’re not alone in feeling this way.