Just defeated and I am exhausted

Mental Health Forum
1

It took me a long time to post this tonight, but I need to vent.

I’m so tired of being a mom.

I’m so touched out. This is baby number two, and she is exhausted. She’s nothing like our first. I miss my life with just my first, and it makes me so sad.

She’s 11 weeks old, and my husband and I are both having such a hard time bonding with her because she is so high need. All she does is cry all day long. She’s never settled. It’s not her tummy anymore; I think it’s just her personality. You can’t set her down. You can’t look at her weirdly. She doesn’t nap unless she’s held. She must always be entertained. It is exhausting.

She is EBF, and I’ve had an oversupply for a while—today she was so needy, I literally forgot to eat. Literally forgot to feed myself.

So here I am doubting myself, thinking maybe she didn’t get enough to eat today because I didn’t nourish myself, even though I changed more wet diapers today than ever before.

I’m sad all the time. I feel like I’m in a weird limbo, thinking life will get better every day, but it’s literally Groundhog Day every day.

I feel like I’m neglecting our four-year-old because I’m so preoccupied with her that I barely have time to entertain him. I miss him so much.

Tonight is particularly rough. Probably because I didn’t eat well; I don’t know if she’s hungry or going through something, but she has been on a wonderful schedule for the most part. She wakes up around 7-8 am and goes to bed at 8 pm. She has not fallen asleep and just screamed all night. It’s 11 pm, and I’m so touched out, that I cannot even nurse her anymore, so she’s getting a bottle in hopes that will put her to sleep.

I have two more weeks until I go back to work, and I am literally counting the days. I hate feeling this way because I want to be with my family. But she is making me resent everything and all things baby. I have wished away the newborn phase and now, in turn, all of my maternity leave to barely bond with her. I’m just so sad and so exhausted.

2

Same here. I’ve realized that if I don’t care for myself, I can’t care for my children. Put the infant down somewhere safe and go to another room to cool off. Put another infant in front of the television. Don’t let other people’s judgment affect you. You must do whatever is necessary to maintain your sanity. Gas relief and gripe water are also options. My kid was usually irritable and uncomfortable, and it turned out that she was gassy and had trouble pooping.

3

This sounds like my boy :sweat_smile:

Have you had your baby’s blood checked?

My boy was exactly like this—always crying and extremely hard to get to sleep. It turned out he had a vitamin B12 deficiency.

Once he started getting B12 drops, he turned into a whole new baby within a month :sweat_smile:. It didn’t stop all the crying and sleeplessness, but it made things much more manageable.

Newborns who are that needy and excessive criers usually have something “wrong.” Dairy intolerance and some vitamin deficiencies are the most common issues.

Good luck to you!

4

My daughter had a milk protein allergy and was very similar. Once we figured it out and I changed my diet, she was a brand new baby within a week. She started smiling, was much easier to put down, and was always in a good mood.

5

It sounds like your infant is in some form of medical distress rather than “it’s her personality”. I strongly advise you to take her to a pediatrician for a checkup as soon as you can. Sure, babies occasionally whine and cry for no apparent reason, but your 11-week-old sounds uncomfortable. If you are able, take a lengthy, hot shower. Have a snack. Ask your partner for assistance. Always remind yourself that your infant is only a baby, and she has no purpose of upsetting you. She doesn’t know anything, and she needs you.

6

If you need ideas or advice, here are a few choices. If you don’t, I wish you love and peace, but skip the remainder of this comment.

Have you considered the formula? Have you been evaluated for PPD? These two adjustments in my parenting path caused me to chuckle again.

(Going back to work was also a blessing. I had no idea how much I missed corporate nonsense.

7

I assumed my kid had special needs until she was diagnosed with a cow milk protein allergy at 4 months old, following numerous doctor consultations. She was really cranky most days, and people would just reply, “She’s just being a baby,” but I had a gut feeling something was wrong. I’m pleased I ignored everyone else and followed my instincts. She is now on a new formula, and each day has gotten a bit better. If your child is weeping excessively, get them checked out!