You’d think I was having a teenage pregnancy the way I’m talking, but I’m in my 30s, married, and stable in life. So why am I suddenly panicking?
We’ve wanted a baby for years, and now that the time has finally come, I’m scared of the massive life change it’s going to bring. My stable life is about to be completely shaken up!
I’m having a C-section on Monday, which is a small part of the fear, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what I’m worried about. I don’t want to waste these last few pregnant days worrying, I want to be excited and joyful. But my brain is so anxious that I can’t think of anything happy; it’s only allowing me to focus on potential negatives.
I would really appreciate any advice and stories from anyone who was scared in the days leading up to the birth but found everything magical and amazing once their baby was born.
We spent the first six weeks lying in bed together, nursing and napping. I would put on headphones and watch my favorite shows while she slept on my chest. I adored that period. My 16-month-old daughter and I are smitten with each other
The newborn stage is challenging, but it is also rewarding in its sweet moments. I’m currently rocking her in my arms because she hates to be put down, but then she gives me one of those drowsy smirks, and nothing else appears to be as essential as being a mattress for this little one.
My 3.5-month-old has decided that after a few months of independent sleep, she wants one lap nap each day. I’m currently in the middle of one. And I have never experienced such euphoric highs in my life. It simply warms you from within in ways I could not have imagined. Every day brings something new to learn and experience, and time seems to fly by. I enjoy being a mom, despite being apprehensive about having children for most of my adult life.
My mind started doing the same thing a few weeks before the due date. Here’s what helped me:
Acceptance: The baby will come no matter what. The fear is of the unknown, but guess what? You already know your baby the most, and your baby knows you. Your baby is looking forward to being with you.
Connection: Your baby is connected to you, and your thoughts are felt by them. Knowing this immediately put me at ease because I wanted my little girl to hear and feel good things.
Positive Talk: Speak to the baby—tell them all the good and positive things. Even if you don’t believe it right now, just play pretend.
Reassurance: Know that everything will go fine, and you will immediately feel a different level of love (one you have never felt before) once you touch your baby. It’s almost supernatural, the most amazing thing you will ever do!
Normalizing Anxiety: I think it’s excitement (which can sometimes feel like anxiety too), and it’s normal to be a little anxious. It’s a life-changing phase, which is the most beautiful one in my opinion.
Self-Care: Go for a walk, binge your favorite show, and know that everything will be fine.
I just wanted to point out that not everyone experiences supernatural love immediately, and that’s fine! If that does not happen, it does not imply that you are defective or a bad parent. I experienced a terrible delivery and struggled to bond with my child for the first 8 weeks. Fortunately, I had acquaintances who experienced similar experiences. We all formed deep ties with our kids over time.
Yes. Even if you did not have a terrible birth. Both of my children came out unscathed; I was fortunate, and I did not have the “overwhelming” sense of love. I felt like a dreadful mother, but I believe after getting to know them, especially when they started smiling, that’s when I thought, wow, I made that thing.
Thank you for adding that! Yes, it is different for everyone, and that is alright! Everybody has their own experience and will get there. Just know that you and your child will be fine, and seek as much assistance as possible if necessary.
