Just what the title says. I know I might get some backlash for this because many people are strongly against sleeping with their babies, but I am not (as long as it’s done under the right conditions, which are all outlined in the Safe Sleep Seven).
First, I want to emphasize that my baby was full term (one of the Safe Sleep Seven points). Discovering what the Safe Sleep Seven actually entails and the information it includes has been a huge relief for me. I no longer stress about nights or being too tired. Let’s be real, when you have a baby, waking up for night feeds, staying awake until the baby finishes eating, putting them down, and then waiting to sleep until the baby is asleep is a whole ordeal. I admit there were many times I fell asleep leaning on tons of pillows in what I thought was a “safe” position while breastfeeding my son, all because I was uneducated and driven by fear of sleeping with my baby. It was always uncomfortable, but it was a bit easier than staying awake through it all.
What I want to say is, if you want to sleep with your baby and you’re not doing it because you’re afraid of being judged or driven by fear surrounding co-sleeping, just read up on the Safe Sleep Seven, the evidence behind it, and then enjoy the nights with your baby.
Let’s educate ourselves, educate others, and keep learning.
It honestly saved my life. I’m a single mum with no family around. Her dad is great now, but he wasn’t much help when she was a newborn. I have a lot of friends, but they have their own lives, and I couldn’t nap during the day while my girl breastfed for 16 hours a day.
She wouldn’t be put down. She hated her pram, carriers, wraps, and bouncer. She needed to be in my arms or latched, and that was it.
When she was 8 weeks old, my health visitor came over. I had already talked to her about my exhaustion and how I sometimes thought I was petting one of my animals (two cats and two very friendly house rabbits), but it would turn out to be a wall or a cushion. That day, she said, “Nope… let’s sort this out.”
She stripped my bed, tested my mattress, went through the Safe Sleep Seven with me, and showed me safe positions for breastfeeding.
I don’t care about any hate I might get. My kid would probably be in foster care, and I’d be off to the funny farm somewhere. The health visitor rightly decided that the risk of sleep deprivation was far greater than the risk of co-sleeping. I was getting maybe two hours of sleep a day if I was lucky.
There is absolutely no hatred. Comments like this remind me why I didn’t co-sleep: I was fortunate to have babies who slept when put down. It’s simply chance of the draw, and sleep deprivation is far more damaging than devising an alternate strategy with a professional, like you did.
I really appreciate that validation, to be honest. We survived it. She’s 18 months old now, off the boob, and has been in her own bed for almost two months. She’s in daycare, I’m back at work, and we’re thriving. My animals are still thriving too. Despite how hard it was, I kept up with their vet appointments, kept the house clean, made sure everyone was loved, and was a good colleague—all because I got some sleep.
I used to read these awful stories about co-sleeping accidents or see the criticism online from other mothers who were rightly pointing out the risks. I would silently cry because I knew what I was doing wasn’t considered “right.”
The sleep deprivation is really real. I didn’t co-sleep either, but I see why others do. I recall traveling to the pharmacy when my daughter was a few weeks old. It was only a 10-minute drive, but I had a moment on the way home when I thought to myself, “I have no business driving right now” since I was so exhausted I couldn’t see clearly.
For firmness. You can look up images that show the difference between a standard adult mattress and a baby mattress. You should observe that when you place a baby down on a crib mattress, it does not sink down at all, unlike many adult mattresses that do when you sit on them. You want something so rigid that the baby’s head and neck will not sink in, so there is no chance of positional asphyxiation.
We placed my sheet on it and other weights, such as huge books or ornaments, to see how they rolled when I got off and on, lay down, and so on. Your mattress should be firm enough to prevent rolling.
They can typically send you to a GP; one even scheduled an appointment for me to get checked for PPA. They ensure that the baby’s measurements and weight are within acceptable limits. They are there to assist during the infancy years.
Mine is so fantastic that she connected me with a specialist mental health clinic to address my PPA/PPD, and I continue to visit a therapist on a weekly basis. It turns out I’ve had CPTSD for much of my life, and I’m currently receiving world-class treatment for it, which will likely endure for years. I was a foster child, so there was a lot of baggage there. She has given me the opportunity to become the greatest parent I can be by allowing me to re-parent myself while raising my kid.
