EDIT: Just want to say a huge thank you to all your responses! Negative and positive! I truly appreciate you taking the time to read through my message and respond. I wrote this message immediately after the incident, still shaking in my car. Like I mentioned, I don’t have any mom friends, so making the post and reading the responses have been very therapeutic! Thank you again!
Hi,
I took my 6 month old today to apply for her passport. While we were waiting for our number to be called, I walked her around the hallways. The security guard walked up to us and was like “Can I hold her??” This is typically a very hard NO for me. I’m super protective of her. I mean, I didn’t want her to be in a crowded waiting room of people, so I was out in the hallway.
I pulled her away and he proceeded to grab her out of my hands. I felt so helpless. He took her close to his head and proceeded to rub noses with her. I immediately grabbed her out of his hands and said “No!! That is not okay for you to do” and walked away.
Now I’m sitting here crying. I feel like a terrible mother that I couldn’t protect my baby. Why didn’t I just say no to him holding her?? Is she going to catch something from him nosing her?
I’m so angry, sad, and feeling like the worst mother in the world.
@Keir
I think I would be a little shocked if that had happened to me. If I were in a vulnerable place emotionally I would have probably responded in a similar way. People take weird liberties when babies are involved. For me, it would have been more about the “anything could have happened” thought than the nosies though.
Zen said:
I would report that behavior. That feels like he crossed a line to me!! Sorry you’re dealing with this momma!
Yeah that’s super unprofessional! Definitely report it! It sounds like he thought he was being a friendly guy, but absolutely ridiculous to assume anyone is okay with you grabbing their baby when you’re a stranger. His supervisor needs to explain this to him since he’s lacking the common sense!
@Dell
I’m not even sure I’d consider “taking someone else’s baby, out of their arms, to cuddle it after being told ‘no’” friendly. Regardless of intent, it’s rude and inexcusable.
I can’t understand being so determined to snuggle someone else’s child that I yank them from the parent’s arms like that. It comes across as being borderline creepy.
Micah said: @Dell
We left the building. Maybe I can call and hope that somebody picks up? I should have reported him. I was just so stunned. I’m still shaking.
Micah said: @Dell
We left the building. Maybe I can call and hope that somebody picks up? I should have reported him. I was just so stunned. I’m still shaking.
[deleted]
Nah, he should be fired. He had zero right to grab a child without consent.
Your body language said “no,” and then he yanked your daughter away and started rubbing part of his face on hers. That’s creepy, possessive behavior towards access to a child.
Your baby will be fine - a person crossed the line but it’s a scenario I can imagine occurring regularly when out in public and not something to beat yourself down over, so you have to let it go - you’re not a terrible mother.
Please don’t blame yourself. Dude went over the line. If it were me, I might have done the same thing because I would just be shocked by the audacity of a person physically taking my baby from my arms when I was obviously uncomfortable with them asking. I can totally see it.
Sounds like you froze at the absolute audacity of that man. Don’t feel about that and don’t feel like you’re a terrible mom. You’re not. You were just put into a completely unprecedented situation and had no idea how to react.
However, you are able to react with a cool mind now. So you should clean baby’s face with wipes, report the security guard, and snuggle your baby close to you. Breastfeed her if that’s something you are already doing. That can give her immunity against anything she’s at a risk of catching from him.
I’m sorry that happened and it was not okay for him to do. I’m pretty risk-averse in terms of germs although I’ve had to give up a lot of control for daycare. It’s definitely not ideal but it sounds like it was pretty quick and will hopefully be okay. 6 months is also old enough where if she does catch something and you want her seen you have more options if the pediatrician isn’t open. In my area, there is an urgent care that can see them at 4 months so we don’t have to risk going to the ER. I always thought it was wild that they make you wait for hours in an ER packed with sick people with a newborn.
but having previously worked security… doesn’t surprise me unfortunately.