I’m a first-time mom and stay-at-home parent; I’ve been experiencing postpartum depression (PPD) since my child was born. My baby is 10 months old, and it’s been a straight week that I’m feeling overwhelmed. Although I’ve communicated my feelings to my husband, it feels like he doesn’t know how to support me, nor do I see any effort from him to research it. I’ve asked him to take me and our baby to the park every morning for some sun, but he’s often too tired to get up because he scrolls on his phone until 2 AM. We’re living in a small 23sqm condo, and I feel hopeless despite loving my baby boy immensely. There are days when I feel like I want to hit my son because of his non-stop crying. I know that’s wrong, and I remind myself that he’s just a baby and needs me. I’m exhausted from trying to control these emotions.
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He didn’t help me; instead, he made me feel worse. So, when the baby was 6 weeks old, I left and moved back in with my family. Do you have any family or friends to support you other than him?
Jamie said:
He didn’t help me; instead, he made me feel worse. So, when the baby was 6 weeks old, I left and moved back in with my family. Do you have any family or friends to support you other than him?
We do have family and friends, but I feel shy about discussing this with them because I worry about being judged. It feels like I’m the only one fighting this battle. He often loses patience when the baby cries and expresses stress by shouting or punching the bed nearby. This adds to my stress. Though I appreciate his attempts to be patient, today we argued during a crying episode, and he put the baby down a bit too forcefully, causing the baby to bump his head.
@Hayden
Have you consulted a doctor or GP? That’s a great place to start. Counseling might help you feel safer talking to family or friends who can provide support.
Nile said:
@Hayden
Have you consulted a doctor or GP? That’s a great place to start. Counseling might help you feel safer talking to family or friends who can provide support.
I haven’t gone to the doctor yet because I thought it would eventually fade. I’m scared you might see me as a bad mom. When I heard my baby got hurt due to my husband’s actions, I felt a strong urge to hurt my baby too, even though I know that’s wrong. That’s why my husband holds the baby while I feel overwhelmed, preventing me from acting out. Is there a chance my husband might also be suffering from PPD?
@Hayden
Yes, both of you can experience postpartum depression. Stress and sleep deprivation can cause strange feelings and reactions. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. You should seek help, and a doctor can guide you. You can also ask someone to watch your baby for a day so you can rest. Where are you located?
@Hayden
You need to ensure your baby is safe if he’s acting that way. Honestly, your mood and coping capabilities would likely improve significantly without him around. Babies can sense stress, so that behavior might be making things worse.
My husband takes the baby from me, comforts the baby, sets them down, and then holds me while I cry. Your husband can definitely do better.
In the first month, my partner did everything while I focused on breastfeeding and recovery. He cared for the baby, handled diaper changes, and did house chores. When he went back to work, he took unpaid leave for my therapy appointments, and by then I felt more capable. We split tasks evenly and took shifts overnight to ensure both of us got some rest. Are you seeking professional help for your PPD? Your husband really needs to step up, and you deserve better support.
He looked up psychiatrists and made an appointment for me because I knew I needed help but felt incapable due to my PPD. I hope you find the support you need.
You need to confide in a better support system or consult with a doctor about managing your PPD. It’s concerning that you’ve thought about harming your baby. I also struggled with my husband’s support initially. A serious conversation improved things greatly. If he’s not providing the support you need, reach out to friends or loved ones for help until you can talk to your husband about this.
We have our ups and downs but my husband is good about taking the baby so I can catch some extra sleep. I need it because we co-sleep and my son still nurses at night. Some nights are tougher than others. It’s challenging to prioritize your health when the baby depends on you. Have you reached out to friends and family for support?