Helpful husband 😍

Feeding Forum
1

LO is 7 weeks old. I woke up for the 4am feeding & pumping session. She’s crying and I remembered literally all the bottles are dirty. Fun. I walk over to the sink and this man cleaned ALL of the bottles. ALL OF THEM—we have a lot. It takes like an hour to wash and sanitize the dirty bin. He also a sink full of dishes. Mans must have been up until 2am. On top of this, he prepared some bottles with breastmilk and they were waiting for LO in the fridge. I fucking love this man.

2

That’s what fathers should do.

3

Mica said:
That’s what fathers should do.

When people ask how they can support moms we need to just direct them to this post.

4

Mica said:
That’s what fathers should do.

Agreed! My husband did this from day 1. After about 2 months, he asked me how to clean my pump parts properly and then he would wash and sanitize those too, which was a lifesaver for MOTN pumps.

5

@Aza
Yup! Mine cleaned my pump parts for the two weeks it lasted. He said it’s not hard and it’s something he can do to make it easier on all of us. I’m so over all of the stories about men doing so little; expect more from them, ladies!

6

Mica said:
That’s what fathers should do.

Genuinely, this is the bare minimum. IMO, if the mother is pumping, it’s a no-brainer that the father should wash and sterilize pump parts and prepare bottles.

I breastfeed and co-sleep with the baby on a floor mattress and so don’t change diapers or cook or do laundry, as that’s 11 hours of iffy sleep a night and 4 hours of breastfeeding a day that I’m devoting to my baby that my husband just cannot physically do.

It’s not fathers ‘helping’ mothers, but fathers taking care of their babies.

7

I’m so glad you have that :heart:

8

Isn’t it great to feel supported! I agree with others that this is what fathers should do. However, just because it’s expected doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate it!

9

My husband has been the same way. He is always washing bottles/pump parts and preparing formula to take to daycare, etc. I keep telling him how much it’s appreciated but he just does it since he knows I’m doing more of the direct child care.

10

I’m so happy you have a man that is your equal partner :heart:

11

This is the sort of thing I would do and my wife would tell me it’s “expected.”

12

Sage said:
This is the sort of thing I would do and my wife would tell me it’s “expected.”

She’s right.

13

Mai said:

Sage said:
This is the sort of thing I would do and my wife would tell me it’s “expected.”

She’s right.

You can still show appreciation for expected behavior done well?

14

@Finch
If you want to continue to expect it, you should!

15

Mai said:

Sage said:
This is the sort of thing I would do and my wife would tell me it’s “expected.”

She’s right.

I agree. Don’t know why we are giving brownie points to husbands who don’t deserve them.

16

Mai said:

Sage said:
This is the sort of thing I would do and my wife would tell me it’s “expected.”

She’s right.

I wouldn’t consider it ‘expected’ for either parent to be up until 2am doing 90 minutes of cleaning bottles and dishes.

Edit: wow this seems to be triggering for some reason. What am I missing?

17

@Finley
If the work needs doing, and you see it needs doing, why not just do it?

18

Taryn said:
@Finley
If the work needs doing, and you see it needs doing, why not just do it?

Because sleep?

19

Finley said:

Taryn said:
@Finley
If the work needs doing, and you see it needs doing, why not just do it?

Because sleep?

I agree with you. Dads need to step up, but chores can quickly become never-ending. You need a triage process; otherwise, you’ll just never sleep.

20

@Sam
Exactly. We can get a lot more done with 6 hours of sleep than with 4.