I don’t know if it means I’ve just had an easy life or if I’m weak-willed, but every night has been a nightmare for the last four months, and it’s really taking a toll. I’m more irritable than ever, always tired with a headache. It feels like things are just getting worse. I’m at a loss for what to say or do anymore. My baby won’t let either of us sleep. Honestly, I can say I hate this whole experience. It’s easy to focus on the negatives, especially since it’s now 11 PM and he has a fever, making it even harder. I love my son and my fiancé more than anything, but I’m feeling so miserable. I think I’ll just cry myself to sleep until the screaming wakes me up.
You are not weak! Please don’t be hard on yourself. You’re going through a tough time right now. Sleep deprivation is known to be torturous for good reason. I went through something similar when my baby was around that age, and it almost broke me. My mental health was terrible, and the only thing that really helped was sleep.
I’m sure you’ve tried many things, but here are a few suggestions to help you rest: try shift work—one of you takes a quiet spot in the house with earplugs for four uninterrupted hours while the other takes care of the baby, then you switch. For example, you might sleep from 10 PM to 2 AM and take care of the baby from 2 AM to 6 AM. If the baby sleeps during your shift, the person on duty can get extra sleep too. Four hours of quality sleep was a big help for me.
Another option is to alternate nights, so you each have three good nights of sleep a week. If it’s possible financially, consider hiring a night nurse a couple of nights a week to help you both rest. There are also subreddits focused on sleep training, which could be worth checking out depending on your views. However, I’ll suggest that getting more rest before tackling sleep training might be best since it can become overwhelming and you’re already in a fragile state. Sending you hugs, internet stranger.
When my baby drove me crazy with sleepless nights, I would look at her tiny hands and feet and remember how small and dependent she was.
@Sidney
Thank you so much! I’ll definitely look into what you’ve suggested and see what fits with our schedules.
Fable said:
@Sidney
Thank you so much! I’ll definitely look into what you’ve suggested and see what fits with our schedules.
Good luck! Definitely explore sleep training and make sure you and your partner choose a method that feels right for both of you. It’s tough, but completely worth it. You both deserve sleep so you can be the best parents possible!
Is there anything medically wrong with your baby? Have you talked to your pediatrician about this? Does your baby show any other symptoms besides not sleeping at night? Sleep regression is real but temporary. By the fourth month, you should start getting some rest. Please don’t try sleep training on a four-month-old baby. They are too undeveloped for it. It’s tough, and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
@Alby
Every reputable source suggests waiting until at least six months before considering sleep training. Listen to this advice, OP. Get your baby checked out to rule out any medical issues first. Start shifts with your partner to secure those much-needed hours of sleep. This phase won’t last forever. You need sleep!
You should look into sleep training.
Sparrow said:
You should look into sleep training.
Looking it up now.
Sparrow said:
You should look into sleep training.
Definitely consider joining r/sleeptrain. There’s a lot of solid advice there.
Sparrow said:
You should look into sleep training.
I second this; I just finished sleep training, and I already feel so much better! I can enjoy my baby again and feel like myself.