My 12 month old is now 2 months in daycare and I wanted to share my experience because I REALLY needed to hear all those things.
First of all, I have been home with our LO and we’ve built a very strong bond, like it was hard for me to leave her for 3/4 hours. I would miss her so bad and it felt biologically wrong in my body. So I didn’t know how I would survive daycare. Putting her in the care of other people. I felt like I HAD to be with her (I’m also still breastfeeding). The thought alone that she will be with “strangers” brought tears to my eyes. And she exclusively did contact naps, so I had NO IDEA how she would even sleep there.
Fast forward to today (2 months in): our LO enjoys daycare. She gets excited and really likes her caretakers. She falls asleep ON HER OWN in a cot (in the first 1-2 weeks they put her to sleep in her carrier and then transferred).
Sometimes goodbyes are tough. But it’s rare. She often looks sad that I’m leaving but cries rarely. And after about 2 weeks the overwhelming feeling of missing her and needing her was gone. Of course I still miss her, but now it’s the normal expected amount.
The time we’re spending now is so much better and I enjoy it a lot more. Going back to work makes me feel more like me, so I come home with more energy and mental head space to spend time with her. When before a whole day alone with the baby could be extremely overwhelming and I’d count the hours until her next nap or bedtime.
TLDR: The first few days were rough. More for me than for our baby. Now it’s part of our weekly routine and the time we spend together is much more intentional and fun.
So if you’re worried - don’t be. Daycare makes our lives easier and better (less cooking, baby stays busy the whole day etc)
Thanks for sharing this. I’ll quickly add - my son started daycare at 6 months. He’s turning 2 in January and will then transition to preschool, where our older daughter goes. I’m a nervous wreck thinking about him leaving daycare - he blows his teacher a kiss and says “I love you” to her every day when I pick him up! We’ve had the best experience.
Thank you so much for this perspective! As someone who has NO clue how I’ll eventually go back to work, it’s nice knowing that the insane cost of daycare can be worth it!
Amal said:
Thank you so much for this perspective! As someone who has NO clue how I’ll eventually go back to work, it’s nice knowing that the insane cost of daycare can be worth it!
It’s so worth it! If you find a good place it’s the best thing in the world! I can leave her there and be calm that she is well fed, that she sleeps peacefully and gets to play with toys we don’t have at home. And that she is surrounded by the sweetest babies and caretakers!
Shai said:
Thank you! My little guy is starting in 2 weeks and I’m so sad and nervous about it. How did your LO do the first couple of weeks??
It’s a change; ANY change, good or bad, will bring new behaviors with it in any person. Change is a difficult part of life, but sometimes very necessary and healthy. Our then baby handled starting daycare… fine. And I think THAT was harder for me than if he hated it but he’s 2 now and has been in it for about a year and a half, having switched as well.
It is so worth it now. He has friends he’s been growing up with. They all know each others’ quirks (they bring my toddler cars when he’s mad so he can calm down he spells out words for one girl because she likes hearing it). They’re all pals, I’ve learned a lot about my toddler and his development through daycare. Some days I go to pick him up and he just says hi mommy and ignores me because he’s happy to be there. It’s a tough start, but it really does get easier when you realize they’ll thrive where they are.
Shai said:
Thank you! My little guy is starting in 2 weeks and I’m so sad and nervous about it. How did your LO do the first couple of weeks??
I FEEL YOU! The first few days were not full days for us. Baby stayed there for 1 hour, then 2 then 4 and we slowly built up until 8 hours. To be honest, she already stayed the full day on day 3. The first week was wonky in terms of her naps. The nap transition was a little tough because she was used to 4 naps a day and then she was only napping twice and wouldn’t want to nap at home. Her bedtime shifted with that. Other than that, she was very happy there and VERY happy to see me when I pick her up. We get to spend some real quality time together now when we’re at home. She is generally a happy human, so she adapted well IMO. I wish you the best possible transition! Btw… staying at home with a baby is 100000 times harder than going back to work! So you will feel a certain relief!
Seconding all of this! Daycare has been absolutely amazing for my baby! I get to go to work and be fulfilled in that part of my life and then come home in a fresh state of mind and ready to see my baby! She loves her teachers, who have helped work on her tummy time, solids feeding (they gave us samples to take home so she could try them) and other developmental milestones. They do fun activities and play. She gets to see other kids, and has way more room to wiggle and practice her mobility than she does in our teeny tiny home. She is doing so well. There are absolutely days where I get sad we have much more limited time together, but I absolutely know I would be burnt out and not in a great emotional/mental space if I was home with her all the time.
Definitely needed this read. We got a last minute daycare spot, and he starts in the new year. I’m not ready, but I guess I never am when it comes to him!
Luca said:
Definitely needed this read. We got a last minute daycare spot, and he starts in the new year. I’m not ready, but I guess I never am when it comes to him!
You’ll never be truly ready! I wasn’t! But staying at home with a baby is 100000 times harder than going to work. So there will be a relief eventually, even though parting with your LO is hard. But so is every change in life.
Yup. My baby is 10m old and has been in daycare since 15 weeks old. She really enjoys going. She likes her teachers and the other kids. And being around other kids has helped her learn to crawl, stand, and feed herself solids.
Daycare can be part of your village.
Only downsides so far: cost, a lot of sickness, and missing the baby during the day.
I needed to read this today. We start Jan 2nd and I have a feeling I’ll have more of an issue leaving him than he will me but I know he’s ready and I hope he loves it.
Vale said:
Wow, this sounds so fortunate! It took my EBF, stay-at-home baby four months to not cry at daycare drop-off! Lol. I’m so jealous.
She still cries sometimes, but it’s normal. It just shows that you have a strong connection. They usually get distracted fast… and forget this small heartbreak of the morning.
I needed this post—thank you! My baby will start daycare in a few weeks. I’m still breastfeeding and have never left him for more than 3 hours. I’ve cried several times about this upcoming change. It’s so reassuring to hear how well your LO is doing. I can only hope the same will be for us!
but he’s 2 now and has been in it for about a year and a half, having switched as well.
he spells out words for one girl because she likes hearing it). They’re all pals, I’ve learned a lot about my toddler and his development through daycare. Some days I go to pick him up and he just says hi mommy and ignores me because he’s happy to be there. It’s a tough start, but it really does get easier when you realize they’ll thrive where they are.