Following because samesies 
. My 5-month-old has me going to bed at 7/7:30. We try to move him to his bed every night a couple times with various levels of success. I got to sleep without baby in my bed two nights last week though, so progress?! Hoping you get some good advice.
Oh also, hoping the nanny is a new thing. I hear they calm down a bit with a new caregiver after a week or two.
@Vance
Yeah, we were seeing slight progress, then our house flooded which involved us staying at my mom’s, and in pure exhaustion and laziness, I just gave in for a couple months which definitely made her even more dependent . The nanny is new; she watches her twice a week, and today was the third day. Didn’t go well; she said the baby cried more today than the first day which broke my heart, and I’m struggling with that in itself.
I’ll recommend some Instagram creators that help with sleep gently (no CIO): HeySleepyBaby, TheGentleSleepMama, Resting_in_Motherhood. Biologically Normal Infant + Toddler Sleep on Facebook is great.
I also don’t sleep train and have a baby who really likes to nurse. I have found giving a bottle before bed helps and rocking to sleep. I can occasionally get my LO to take the Ninni Co pacifier.
Can you try putting her down a little later - extending bedtime 15 minutes until it is 7:00 PM? 7:00 PM to 5:00/5:30 AM is still adequate sleep. You can play around with different sleep sacks as well. Many like the Ziapadee Zip.
Laken said:
@Fay
Thank you❤️
You’re welcome! There is a lot of pressure to sleep train and a lot of misinformation about infant sleep.
I also recommend looking into possible causes of discomfort like silent reflux. I have a frequent waker and am exploring this too. They say waking every hour is never normal and an indicator of a deeper issue (reflux, intolerance, sleep environment issue, etc.).
My LO is 3.5 months, during the day we contact nap because she doesn’t like to be put down, but in the evening, we do a bedtime routine (put on the sleep sack, tell a story, sing) then I lay her down on the bed and nurse doing c-curl. Once she is fast asleep she unlatches and she doesn’t wake up again because she is already laying down. The next challenge is transferring her to the crib, which normally I do by rocking her a bit, and she fusses a bit but stays asleep until it’s feeding time again, rinse and repeat through the night 2x.
Now the next stage for us is to transfer the crib to her own room and sleep train, but I won’t do cry it out because I want to try first to repeat the same routine we have now in the master bedroom. There is a small bed for me in her room now that I can use (one of those IKEA toddler beds) until she gets used to sleeping there and I can leave her on her own. Total independence will never happen for at least 18 years lol, but you will get your evenings back soon 
.
Does your baby take a pacifier? Could you (or your nanny) get her to? I found that if I snuck in a pacifier during the comfort sucking, it would trick her enough, and she wouldn’t wake up. Then you might be able to sneak away.
I’m also wondering what happens at naps? Same thing or different sleep scenario?
@Page
No to the pacifier; I’ve tried every single one to no luck. Naps are the same scenario. She could also sleep with intense rocking, shushing, and patting, so not any better which is why we just nurse. 
Hi! Career nanny and Newborn Care Specialist here.
Just curious if you can elaborate on why the baby is crying with the nanny all day?
Mars said:
Hi! Career nanny and Newborn Care Specialist here.
Just curious if you can elaborate on why the baby is crying with the nanny all day?
She’s had stranger danger for a couple months now, so I knew this would be a hard transition, but it’s definitely been harder than I thought. I have nanny cams, and she will constantly try new things, but the baby just is never happy while with her, especially after a nap. She’s even worse—almost like she expected me to be there when she woke up, and I wasn’t, so she’s upset. I don’t know; I’m no professional though. “Cry the whole time” might be an exaggeration because I’m not used to her being upset, but she’s either whining or crying, no smiles or babbling like she is constantly without the nanny.
@Laken
Can I ask how many hours a day and how many days a week the nanny is there?
Mars said:
@Laken
Can I ask how many hours a day and how many days a week the nanny is there?
Four hours twice a week. I’ll immediately take her when I get home, and she smiles and starts babbling, and she’ll always say, ‘Oh, she’s a totally different baby now.’ She’ll even smile and laugh at the nanny while I hold her, but as soon as she tries to take her, she’ll cry. This goes for everyone other than me, my husband, and my mother.
@Laken
That can be common, but crying the whole time usually isn’t. Maybe she just needs to warm up to the nanny more?
Also, there are plenty of sleep training methods that don’t involve crying it out. I would look into those 
@Mars
Definitely needs to warm up; I always hang out for like 30 minutes before leaving. I’d love to be able to just hang out with us three for hours, but I have her there because I have school, so it makes it difficult. 
This sounds terrible, and I don’t mean for it to, but I don’t think it helps that the nanny is black and we’re all white. She’s so sweet, but I just think that’s why the transition may be taking longer. I could just be making that up though; who knows.
@Laken
Has she had any exposure to people of color? It might be a good idea to get kids’ books with black children in them, and talk about the characters.
How long has your nanny been with you?
Mars said:
@Laken
Has she had any exposure to people of color? It might be a good idea to get kids’ books with black children in them, and talk about the characters.
How long has your nanny been with you?
We have books with a large range of different races, but she doesn’t have much interaction with anyone but me and my husband. I’m sure if she was older she would see the correlation. This is only the second week.
@Laken
Ah okay. If it’s the second week, then that totally makes sense. Just give it some time for her to warm up, another week or two maybe. Maybe take a picture of your nanny and show it to her on her days off and talk about her with your baby.
@Mars
I was literally going to ask her to give me a close-up selfie to print out and put on the wall, but I didn’t know if that was weird, lmfao.
Laken said:
@Mars
I was literally going to ask her to give me a close-up selfie to print out and put on the wall, but I didn’t know if that was weird, lmfao.
This comment is empty, admin should fix
My son is kind of like this, although not that extreme. He nurses to sleep, and then I lay there for about seven minutes while he is sleeping to make sure that he is truly asleep before I roll away and get on with my night. Sometimes I can’t leave the bed, but I can at the very least sit up and be on my computer so I can do homework and stuff. If he wakes up, I can put a hand on his back, and he will roll towards my leg and kind of hug it and go to sleep. I’m not really sure what kind of advice to give other than maybe try the chair technique, which is basically once they are asleep, pop your nipple out, but stay there, and then the next day try moving into a sitting position and stay there, and then the next day go from a sitting position to getting off the bed, but leaving your hand on her, etc., slowly moving away until she is OK with you leaving.
Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m sure you have, but have you tried using a pacifier and/or putting her to sleep on her stomach? My mom is a NICU nurse and recommended this because my daughter was the same way. Literally the first night I tried putting her on her stomach with the pacifier, she did a 6-hour stretch alone in her bassinet, and it was a game changer.